It is hard out here

We all up in those funky frogizzy grills, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Time to go
Mike Wallace is retiring from “Sixty Minutes” at age 87.  He wanted to retire before he got so old he had to become a CBS viewer.

You know when Wallace knew it was time to retire? When he started getting so old he was actually agreeing with Andy Rooney.


Mike Wallace is retiring from “Sixty Minutes” at age 87. Mike Wallace wants to rest up a before he has to start rigorously dating Anna Nicole Smith.


Wild
Did you see “The Sopranos”? Tony got shot by Junior. And next episode, Junior gets shot by Dick Cheney.


Did you see “The Sopranos”? Tony got shot by Junior in the stomach. Tony’ stomach is a target so big even Dick Cheney wouldn’t miss that.  

History lesson
You know what happened on this date in 44 B.C.? Julius Caesar was killed. He went on a quail hunt and was shot by his vice president.

So Long Mikey
Mike Wallace is retiring from “Sixty Minutes” at age 87.  He wanted to retire on the anniversary of the first story he covered: the murder of Julius Caesar.

That is fast
Rumor has it that Britney Spears is pregnant again. Wow, that’s amazing, I mean she just barely had time to teach her other baby how to drive.    

Kinda like that
Authorities shut down the Neverland Ranch over lapsed employee insurance. Closing down the Neverland Ranch for unpaid bills is like arresting Osama bin Laden for ripping off a mattress label.


Banana hammock
In several different interviews, Shaquille O’Neal has revealed that he wears thong underwear. And not just any thong, Shaq’s tailor custom makes them out of Cost Co Hammocks.