It is hard out here
Oh yes, even though it was hard out there for a pimp, this here managed to get him some sick, sick, sick, Snowboarding air. And by sick I mean dead and non- existent, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
A lot, but not that much
A while ago, “The New York Post” claimed women in New York have more sex than women in any other city including Paris, France, but less sex than Paris Hilton.
Atta Girl
Paris Hilton has a CD coming out that includes the song “Screwed.” That’s right Paris, stick with what you know.
Paris Hilton has a CD coming out. Paris collaborated with Dr. Dre, Fat Joe and Jadakiss. They didn’t help with her CD, she just collaborated with them.
Good news, bad news
In the World Baseball Classic, Korea clobbered Team USA 7-3. However, team Korea is not doing well in the current Iditarod race in Alaska. For some reason, Korea’s sled team is missing six dogs and their driver has mysteriously gained Sixty five pounds.
In the World Baseball Classic, Korea clobbered Team USA 7-3. In short, the Koreans pounded the US like it was tenderizing a Pit Bull flank steak.
Not good numbers
And President Bush’s approval rating is at an all time low. In fact, less people now approve of Bush than there are people who approve of selling President Bush to Dubai.
A man in Australia was cited for driving 25 miles backwards. On the bright side, President Bush has found his next Iraq exit strategy advisor.
Cruising for a bruising
A congressional panel was told that over 24 people have disappeared from cruise ships over the last two years. They’re not positive but they think the people may have fallen overboard or they’ve been devoured during a midnight buffet feeding frenzy.
Gone too far
In Mesa Arizona, a deputy fire chief was caught having sex with a sheep; they were going to give him a suspended sentence but then they examined the evidence and game him six months in jail. Apparently that was one ugly sheep.
Too bad
A former senior White House advisor, Claude Allen, was arrested for stealing items from Target and Hecht stores and returning them for cash refunds. He would have gotten away with it but when they finally confronted him, he didn’t have an exit strategy either.
A sure sign of trouble
The head of neurology at Oakland had to be restrained and arrested for being too drunk to operate. They suspected he was drunk when he tried to take a hit off the anesthesiologist’s tube.
Don’t be confused
“Failure to Launch” is number one at the box office. “Failure to Launch” is about a guy who lives with his parents, “Failure to Launch” is not a Viagra instructional video.
“Failure to Launch” is number one at the box office and features a naked Terry Bradsaw; due to Bradshaw’s nude scene, the working title was “Backbacon Mountain.”
The number one movie is “Failure to Launch” which about a guy who lives with his parents too long; you can tell you’ve been living with your parents too long when they get mad at you for using their Depends.
The number one movie is “Failure to Launch” is about a guy who lives with his parents too long; you can tell you’ve been living with your parents too long when they ground you by taking the keys to your Rascal Scooter.
Touchy
“Shaft” singer, Isaac Hayes, quit his role of Chef on “South Park” because they made fun of his religion, Scientology. Hayes had no problem with “South Park’s” animated Holiday feces called Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, but don’t mess with Scientology.
Back to Launch
In “Failure to Launch,” Terry Bradshaw appears naked. Here is my question: Why? Was Dick Cheney busy?
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
Albert Einstein was born on this day in 1879. Upon hearing this, President Bush replied; “Hey, a lot of people call me Einstein, you know. As in “Nice Iraq exit strategy, Einstein.”
Again, not good
President Bush’s popularity rating is so low, it now officially has to be called President Bush’s unpopularity rating.
Since you asked:
What a great time in Park City. Great weather, amazing conditions, fabulous digs, great food and a great, great group of people. We had thirteen and it went as smoothly and was as fun as possible. Not to mention that I snowboarded like a god. Well, if the god was a no-longer-young and not very aggressive snowboarder.
As I was a snowboarder, and thus a wretched outcast from the archaic ski only policy at Deer Valley, I took the rented van down to Park City while our skiers left from the house at Deer Valley. After the first day of boarding with my skier wife – yes, we have a mixed marriage, I board, she skis – we returned up the mountain road just in time to run into all the other skiers coming off the slopes. They were ecstatic that we could save them the several hundred yards uphill walk in boots and carrying skis and poles to the house.
On the last day back I parked to pick up the last two skiers and parked and walked from the street down to slope on to the ski run at Deer Valley. As I stood just off to the side of the run, a woman skier skiing past me pointed right at me and yelled to her friends behind her:
“Hey, look at that big moose, will yah?”
Just as I was about to yell; “Oh yeah, well screw you, you fat mouthed b*tch” I turned around to discover I was standing down and in front of a huge brass sculpture of a Moose.
Since you asked, you won’t believe me version
Guess who I stuck out my big paw and shook mitts with in Park City? You got it, none other than the Flying Freakin’ Tomato himself: Shaun White. He was there for a big half pipe competition and he was standing outside of my favorite restaurant in Park City, the Baja Cantina. Walked up to him, told him I lived in Carmel Valley, where he used to live, and congratulated him on the gold medal. What a nice, friendly, guy but what a young kid. My word. And the women that were in his entourage? Oh yes, it’s good to be the Tomato.
Since you asked, tres
Why are people questioning what should be done with Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Raphael Palmeiro, and all the known steroid cheaters in baseball?
Back when baseball had a commissioner with an intact spine, Bart Giamatti banned Pete Rose from baseball and the Hall of Fame with the same quality of information on Rose’s gambling that we now have on Bonds and all the others: testimony from fairly reliable and a few unreliable witnesses.
Baseball is not a government where you to have proof in a legal system beyond a reasonable doubt before you can punish or banish; baseball is a private organization. Nobody has the inalienable right to play Major League baseball, it is a professional privilege bestowed on the talented few. As with any club or company, if the commissioner or president has reliable information that the organization’s rules have been violated, it is incumbent upon that commissioner or president to fire the rule violator. Just as Giamatti did with Rose.
If baseball really wants to help stop children from using steroids or other drugs, they have to scare the public out of using drugs with harsher penalties than a ten day suspension.
Baseball also has to keep known cheaters out of their Hall of Fame and that includes Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire and especially Barry Bonds.
A lot, but not that much
A while ago, “The New York Post” claimed women in New York have more sex than women in any other city including Paris, France, but less sex than Paris Hilton.
Atta Girl
Paris Hilton has a CD coming out that includes the song “Screwed.” That’s right Paris, stick with what you know.
Paris Hilton has a CD coming out. Paris collaborated with Dr. Dre, Fat Joe and Jadakiss. They didn’t help with her CD, she just collaborated with them.
Good news, bad news
In the World Baseball Classic, Korea clobbered Team USA 7-3. However, team Korea is not doing well in the current Iditarod race in Alaska. For some reason, Korea’s sled team is missing six dogs and their driver has mysteriously gained Sixty five pounds.
In the World Baseball Classic, Korea clobbered Team USA 7-3. In short, the Koreans pounded the US like it was tenderizing a Pit Bull flank steak.
Not good numbers
And President Bush’s approval rating is at an all time low. In fact, less people now approve of Bush than there are people who approve of selling President Bush to Dubai.
A man in Australia was cited for driving 25 miles backwards. On the bright side, President Bush has found his next Iraq exit strategy advisor.
Cruising for a bruising
A congressional panel was told that over 24 people have disappeared from cruise ships over the last two years. They’re not positive but they think the people may have fallen overboard or they’ve been devoured during a midnight buffet feeding frenzy.
Gone too far
In Mesa Arizona, a deputy fire chief was caught having sex with a sheep; they were going to give him a suspended sentence but then they examined the evidence and game him six months in jail. Apparently that was one ugly sheep.
Too bad
A former senior White House advisor, Claude Allen, was arrested for stealing items from Target and Hecht stores and returning them for cash refunds. He would have gotten away with it but when they finally confronted him, he didn’t have an exit strategy either.
A sure sign of trouble
The head of neurology at Oakland had to be restrained and arrested for being too drunk to operate. They suspected he was drunk when he tried to take a hit off the anesthesiologist’s tube.
Don’t be confused
“Failure to Launch” is number one at the box office. “Failure to Launch” is about a guy who lives with his parents, “Failure to Launch” is not a Viagra instructional video.
“Failure to Launch” is number one at the box office and features a naked Terry Bradsaw; due to Bradshaw’s nude scene, the working title was “Backbacon Mountain.”
The number one movie is “Failure to Launch” which about a guy who lives with his parents too long; you can tell you’ve been living with your parents too long when they get mad at you for using their Depends.
The number one movie is “Failure to Launch” is about a guy who lives with his parents too long; you can tell you’ve been living with your parents too long when they ground you by taking the keys to your Rascal Scooter.
Touchy
“Shaft” singer, Isaac Hayes, quit his role of Chef on “South Park” because they made fun of his religion, Scientology. Hayes had no problem with “South Park’s” animated Holiday feces called Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, but don’t mess with Scientology.
Back to Launch
In “Failure to Launch,” Terry Bradshaw appears naked. Here is my question: Why? Was Dick Cheney busy?
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
Albert Einstein was born on this day in 1879. Upon hearing this, President Bush replied; “Hey, a lot of people call me Einstein, you know. As in “Nice Iraq exit strategy, Einstein.”
Again, not good
President Bush’s popularity rating is so low, it now officially has to be called President Bush’s unpopularity rating.
Since you asked:
What a great time in Park City. Great weather, amazing conditions, fabulous digs, great food and a great, great group of people. We had thirteen and it went as smoothly and was as fun as possible. Not to mention that I snowboarded like a god. Well, if the god was a no-longer-young and not very aggressive snowboarder.
As I was a snowboarder, and thus a wretched outcast from the archaic ski only policy at Deer Valley, I took the rented van down to Park City while our skiers left from the house at Deer Valley. After the first day of boarding with my skier wife – yes, we have a mixed marriage, I board, she skis – we returned up the mountain road just in time to run into all the other skiers coming off the slopes. They were ecstatic that we could save them the several hundred yards uphill walk in boots and carrying skis and poles to the house.
On the last day back I parked to pick up the last two skiers and parked and walked from the street down to slope on to the ski run at Deer Valley. As I stood just off to the side of the run, a woman skier skiing past me pointed right at me and yelled to her friends behind her:
“Hey, look at that big moose, will yah?”
Just as I was about to yell; “Oh yeah, well screw you, you fat mouthed b*tch” I turned around to discover I was standing down and in front of a huge brass sculpture of a Moose.
Since you asked, you won’t believe me version
Guess who I stuck out my big paw and shook mitts with in Park City? You got it, none other than the Flying Freakin’ Tomato himself: Shaun White. He was there for a big half pipe competition and he was standing outside of my favorite restaurant in Park City, the Baja Cantina. Walked up to him, told him I lived in Carmel Valley, where he used to live, and congratulated him on the gold medal. What a nice, friendly, guy but what a young kid. My word. And the women that were in his entourage? Oh yes, it’s good to be the Tomato.
Since you asked, tres
Why are people questioning what should be done with Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Raphael Palmeiro, and all the known steroid cheaters in baseball?
Back when baseball had a commissioner with an intact spine, Bart Giamatti banned Pete Rose from baseball and the Hall of Fame with the same quality of information on Rose’s gambling that we now have on Bonds and all the others: testimony from fairly reliable and a few unreliable witnesses.
Baseball is not a government where you to have proof in a legal system beyond a reasonable doubt before you can punish or banish; baseball is a private organization. Nobody has the inalienable right to play Major League baseball, it is a professional privilege bestowed on the talented few. As with any club or company, if the commissioner or president has reliable information that the organization’s rules have been violated, it is incumbent upon that commissioner or president to fire the rule violator. Just as Giamatti did with Rose.
If baseball really wants to help stop children from using steroids or other drugs, they have to scare the public out of using drugs with harsher penalties than a ten day suspension.
Baseball also has to keep known cheaters out of their Hall of Fame and that includes Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire and especially Barry Bonds.
posted by Alex at
11:11 AM
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