Friday, October 31, 2014

100% of the proceeds from this blog are going to my charity: Alex Kaseberg Needs To Pay His Bills, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Apple CEO, Tim Cook, revealed that he is gay. And next month Cook will announce he is the new iGay 6. 

I’m so excited about my Halloween costume. I’m going as a slutty quarantined Maine Ebola nurse.

A judge has ordered the Maine nurse exposed to Ebola, Kaci Hickox, to stay three feet from people. It’s the same arrangement Kris and Bruce Jenner had during their marriage.

Since you asked:

Heckling Bruce Jenner on his home golf course is over the line.
Next to Nike, Bruce Jenner is the #1 aLBb whipping boy. Yes, he is an ass. Yes, when I spoke to him, he was amazingly rude. Yes, he is the reality-TV personification of almost all that is wrong in society. Yes, he is also the personification of entitlement gone amuck.

But a man’s home golf course is sacred. He should not be hassled or heckled there. It is a sanctuary and should be regarded as such. Bruce has not OJ'd anyone to my knowledge, so let him be. 

Besides, steroids aside, this guy is a gold medal winner for the USA in the best single athletic endeavor there is, the Decathlon. With that comes the title Worlds Greatest Athlete. He had the world record. No matter how far off the plantation Jenner wanders, he is entitled to respect for his past achievements. 

Thursday, October 30, 2014

So excited about my Halloween costume. Going as a slutty Kim Jong Un

All the boys think she's a spy, she's got Betty Davis eyes, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Jon Hyder

Buster Posey
Seperated at birth? 

Ned Yost Does Not Boast

Guess who is back on the New York Yankees roster after a year suspension? Alex Rodriguez. “This should more than make up for losing Derek Jeter,” said nobody.

The San Francisco Giants won the World Series. In San Francisco’s Castro district, men were ripping off their clothes, swilling champagne and dancing in the street. When asked how long they would celebrate the Giants win, they said; “What Giants win?”

This weekend we set our clocks back one hour. This means on Sunday the New York Jets will lose an hour and a game.

V.P. Joe Biden is scheduled to travel to Morocco, Ukraine and Turkey to discuss foreign policy. Which means we will soon be at war with Morocco, Ukraine and Turkey.

Since you asked:

They say the Kansas City Royals manager, Ned Yost, is humble. That means:

Ned Yost does not boast.

He does not boast on the coast

He does not boast eating toast

He would not boast as a host

Even if he became a ghost

Ned Yost will not boast

If speaking at an Army Post

No boast would come from Yost

The most Ned Yost might boast?

If he grilled a good prime roast.

Yes, I am happy my adopted-for-the-playoff Fog City G'ints won, but I got noffins but love for the Royal fans. 
It has been predicted the marijuana industry will surpass the size of the NFL. One business has stoned former criminals, the other is the marijuana industry.

Apple CEO, Tim Cook, announced he is proud to be gay. Which explains Apple’s new Tony Award Party Planning App.

This weekend we set our clocks back one hour. This means on Sunday, the New York Jets will suck one whole hour earlier.

This weekend we set our clocks back one hour. And that is this week's story my nephew, Cooper, will not understand. "Dude, what's a clock?"