Michael Cohen testified Donald Trump is a lying, cheating racist. Yeah, right, Mike, next you’ll try to tell us Trump is bald.





In Tennessee, a food delivery man stuck his scrotum into a customer’s salsa. And you do not want to know what he did to their fish tacos.




The rumor is Patriots owner Robert Kraft will have his prostitution solicitation charges dropped. So this story for Kraft could have two happy endings.





Bryce Harper has signed a 13-year, $330 million deal with the Philadelphia Phillies. The deal includes a lucrative $5,000 bonus for each booed at-bat.





A Tennessee food delivery server was arrested after he dipped his testicles into a poor-tipping customer's salsa. On the bright side, he was offered a lifetime job at Chipotle.





In the least shocking story in a while, Donald Trump accused Michael Cohen of being a liar. Which is like a Kardashian accusing someone of being a publicity whore.





After siding with Kim Jong Un on the murder or Otto Warmbier, Trump's negotiations with North Korea ended abruptly. I've had better talks with my neighbor's yappy Shitzu.







Bryce Harper has signed a $330 million deal with the Philadelphia Phillies. When asked, with that kind of money, he may buy the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, Harper replied,


“That’s a clown question, bro.”