Thanksgiving is a day to reflect, be with your family, look at your relatives and say, “Well no wonder I’m all messed up.” 

Charles Manson left all of his belongings to his pen pal. So enjoy all that cool stuff Charlie Manson willed you, OJ Simpson.

In Afghanistan, ISIS beheaded 15 of its own members for infighting. Here is my question: how much of an asshole do you have to be to be too much of an asshole for ISIS?

They misunderstood ISIS’s recruiting slogan: Join ISIS to get ahead.

Donald Trump said the F-35 fighter jet is invisible even if you’re next to it. So you can impress your family by telling them you bought them a F-35 flyover for Thanksgiving dinner. 

Kim Kardashian is calling for the release of a woman who killed a man when she was a 16-year-old prostitute. Because, in addition to all her other vast skills, Kim is nothing if not an expert on criminal defense law.  

While admittedly not a lawyer, Kim feels qualified to weigh in on this case due to her having watched an entire episode of "Judge Judy." 

Charlie Manson’s grandson, Jason Freeman, said he regretted not being able to see his grandfather before he died. As a child, Manson would play “I got your nose” with Freeman. Once Charlie actually had his nose. But they sewed it back on.

Donald Trump’s Twitter war with LaVar Ball has created so much publicity, it has doubled sales of Ball’s $495 basketball shoe. Ball has now sold four pairs. 

 A guy made almost $1,000 starting a GoFundMe account claiming it was for Charles Manson’s funeral.  What idiot would fall for that scam? Besides, I gave my money to a Nigerian Prince who is going to make me rich.

 A guy made almost $1,000 starting a GoFundMe account lying it was for Charles Manson’s funeral. What sleazy con-artist would take money away from good causes? Like the fund I am raising to defend OJ Simpson against future legal problems.

In Afghanistan, ISIS beheaded 15 of its own members for infighting. Being beheaded is probably preferable to having  "Been Fired By ISIS" on your record.  

Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. Kim finally could not put up with Stephanie’s programing their computers in Java and not Python.

Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys, Drumstick and Wishbone. Their full names are Drumstick Covfefe and Wishbone Bigly.

Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. When asked why she fired her, Kim said, “I asked her to be all like, you know, but she was like, whatever.” 

Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. Kim finally could not put up with Stephanie’s inability to utilize the Oxford comma. 

Charles Manson has died joining such luminaries in hell as Jack-the-Ripper, Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden and whoever invented Robocalls.




Kim Kardashian fired her longtime assistant, Stephanie Shepard. Kim finally could not put up with Stephanie’s blatant cheating on "Words With Friends."


Sklatermoisakrunt.