Wednesday, September 26, 2007

We rockin’ the funizzy up this humpy dizzy, Torn Slattern and Nugget Rancher

The New England Patriots destroyed their third straight opponent and look to go undefeated. In fact, I haven’t heard a team described as this scary since the Los Angeles Archdiocese Priest softball team played the Alter boys.

This was an exciting week three in the NFL. Well, except for the New England Patriots. They had already seen the hidden tape of them beating the Buffalo Bills 38-7 on Friday, so they knew.

Gotta admit
In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. On the bright side, you gotta admit this is one guy who has prepared his entire life to be in a box.

There is a first for everything
In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. This also marks the first time the words mime, died and sad have been used together.

In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. You know what his last words were?

In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. In France, Marceau was given a 21-gun salute which, upon hearing the shots, the firing party immediately dropped their rifles and surrendered to itself.

In sad news, French mime Marcel Marceau died at 84. In his honor he was given a moment of annoying silence.

Nice job, Reeg
“Regis and Kelly” host and Notre Dame alum, Regis Philbin addressed the Notre Dame football pep rally Friday prior to Notre Dame going out Saturday and losing their fourth straight game. So much for win one for the quipper.

Who knew?
Jessica Simpson is dumping her base pop fans to go country, OJ Simpson faces prison for stealing his memorabilia; A student named Star Simpson walked into an Airport with a fake bomb on her chest. Who could have guessed the smartest person named Simpson would end up to be Homer?

As they call it
A study reveals that pilots who took a 26 minute nap had dramatic improved performance and alertness. Or as the pilots call those naps: passing out drunk.

Now that’s bad
The Chicago Bears lost to the Dallas Cowboys, 34-10 largely due to three interceptions by their QB, Rex Grossman. Grossman’s performance could only have been worse if he stripped down to a sequined black bikini and stumbled through a bad lip-syncing performance.

You snooze, you loose
Health experts continue to tout the benefits of a midday nap. They do suggest, however, that you do not take that nap in the middle of playing a football game like Notre Dame.

Pretty fat
A report reveals that 33,000 people a year are treated in the emergency room for injuries sustained from shopping carts. How fat are we getting when people are hurting and straining themselves pushing their groceries?