Friday, August 24, 2018

HBO's "Hard Knocks" featured the Cleveland Brown's office dog, Moose, an adorable brown labrador. The only problem with Moose is the 0-16 Browns are 0-112 in dog years. 

Comedian Nikki Glaser's career is flying which she partly attributes to her joke about how she, a tall pretty blonde, loves butt-sex. Ironically, guys keep sneaking into her show through the backdoor.

On HBO's "Hard Knocks,"  0-16 Cleveland Brown coach, Bob Wylie, 300-pounds with white hair, mocked the practice of stretching saying they did not stretch in WWII. 

Wylie then ate a ham and smoked a carton of Marlboros, had a heart attack and then took a nap.

He then went back to reading his book, "Keith Richards's Fitness Tips."

After "Kellyanne Conway" and Chris Cuomo's on-air fight, Kellyanne went home, poured a huge glass of buttery Chardonnay and buzzed one off until her "neck-messager" was smoking.

Among the lavish spending Rep. Duncan Hunter is accused of in stealing $250,000 from campaign donations is $600 for an airline flight for their pet rabbit. 

That is hare-raisingly expensive. This made people hopping mad. This bunny bugs me.

Tuesday, August 21, 2018


This is the sea lion pup that snuck into the swanky Marine Room. That is my stand up paddle board #1 spot. 

In La Jolla, CA, a sea lion pup crawled into the booth of a fancy beach-front restaurant. The sea lion claimed he had a reservation, but he could not hide his lion eyes. 

(RIP Glenn Frey) 

Monday, August 20, 2018

The oldest cheese was found in an Egyptian tomb at 3,200 years-old. It was used to make a sandwich called the Larry King Special.

Prior to this, the record for the oldest cheese belonged to a Papa John’s in Newark.

Melania Trump gave a speech against cyber-bullying and the tweet where Donald Trump called Omarosa a dog is not even cold yet.

In an Arizona medical facility, 16 nurses are all pregnant at the same time. This explains  their pharmacy missing two bottles of Viagra.

Tuesday is the Khloe Kardashian of the days of the week. 

In San Diego, a woman hiker was bitten by a rattlesnake. They had to suck the poison out of the wound and spit it out. It is the same technique Sarah Huckabee Sanders uses during press conferences.

Italian actress, Asia Argento, paid $380,000 to settle sexual misconduct with a 17-year-old actor, Jimmy Bennett, 5-years ago.

Sorry, but a 37-year-old gorgeous actress having sex with a 17-year-old boy is not misconduct, it is benevolent generosity.

Since you asked:

As I am not an expert on Russian politics, but as an interested observer, it seems fairly obvious the former Soviet Union and now Russia’s government is largely in the hands of the president.

The US has much more checks and balances with the Supreme Court and Congress. In Russia, the Politburo seems to generally be a puppet to the president. It certainly is under Vladimir Putin. 

And Donald Trump wants the same thing. 

Trump wants to rule like his buddy Putin does. Trump has no knowledge or concern of the Constitution and checks and balances. He does not care if he damages the Department of Justice, the FBI, the CIA or the First Amendment along the way.  

After WWII, Russia had a leader who was as evil as Hitler under Joseph Stalin. He murdered enemies ruthlessly and paranoia and fear were the overriding emotions in Russia. And vodka. 

Under Khrushchev, there was less murder but almost as much paranoia and fear. But, in the cold war, Khrushchev turned the Russian people’s fear toward us. He made the US the enemy and, under Putin, the US still is the enemy. And everyone understands that. 

Except Donald Trump.

It was my experience that we were taught to hate neither Germans nor Russians, but Nazis and Communists. So when Communism was gone in Russia, all was forgiven. Not so for Russians. They were taught Americans wanted them all dead and they still feel that way. 

We have largely forgotten our CIA funded Afghanistan - thus creating Osama bin Laden - in their war against the Soviet Union invasion. Guess who hasn't forgotten that? 

Make no mistake about it, Russia hates the US. 

After Khrushchev, Leonid Breznev was a drunk bureaucrat. Yeltsin was an even drunker bureaucrat. 

There were a couple short-timers. Then we got the best Russian leader of all time: Mikhail Gorbachev. He was reasonable and his ouster signaled the end of the communism in Russia. 

Now we have the Russian equivalent of Dick Cheney, cold-blooded, but more murderous, in Vladimir Putin. (And that is saying something for a guy, Cheney, who shot his own lawyer in the face) 

Cheney was a heartless robot whose only concern was making money for Halliburton. And he had a largely feckless president under George W. Bush to allow that scam to happen.

The Russian mob is Putin’s Halliburton.  

All my life I thought we would have the inside information on the Kennedy assassination and we never have. Now I am starting to get the same feeling about Trump’s taxes. 

But if they do ever come out, nobody will be less shocked than me to find out Trump is into the Russian mafia for hundreds of millions.

And, like pussy grabbing, mocking the handicapped, not paying contractors, ripping-off investors, stealing from Trump Foundation charity donors and Trump University students, calling a woman a dog, saying the white supremacists at Charlottesville were good people, kissing Putin’s ass in Helsinki, Donald Trump’s followers will not care. 

Hundreds of millions owed to the Russian mafia will not put a dent in Trump's followers. 

The only thing Donald Trump could do to upset his followers is to morph into Hillary Clinton.

Guy walks into a fancy New York bar and asks the bartender to lay out 14 shots of his most expensive scotch in 14 shot glasses in a row across the bar.

The guy starts pounding one after another until he gets to five. Bartenders yells, 

"Whoa, slow down. You're going to get sick." Guy says,

"Well, if you had what I had, you'd drink like this too." Bartender looks sad and says,

"I'm sorry to hear that. What do you have?" The guy says,

"A dollar."  

On “The Daily Show,” Omarosa explained how she had hoped the Donald Trump she knew could grow into the great honor that is being the president. Meaning she knew he wasn’t there at the start, but she was optimistic.

That’s because Omarosa believed the Donald Trump on the show “The Apprentice” was the real Donald Trump. Just like tens of millions of voters did.

Donald Trump was never that guy on “The Apprentice.” He was playing the part of Donald Trump. The person I know who knows someone who had a meeting with Trump said he was rude, crass, bored, lazy, dismissive, sexist and pompous. 

Donald Trump is the worst possible result of the expression: 

"You can judge a man by how he treats people who cannot benefit him."

Omarosa and Trump are kindred souls. They are both greedy, publicity-whore opportunists and they appreciate that commonality in each other, as ugly as it is. Their shared sensibilities of avarice bonded them. Plus Trump thought having a black friend made him look less racist. (See: Dennis Rodman) 

But the real Donald Trump emerged in the work environment that is the White House. On a TV show, you can appear potentially presidential because you show up in makeup and read your lines. 

In countless meetings, press conferences, there is no place to hide. For either of them. Omarosa was fired for being a nightmare employee. She is selfish, arrogant, cannot get along with others, abused privileges and White House Chief of Staff, Gen. Kelly had enough of that with Trump.  

So he canned her ass. 

Omarosa could not be a worse messenger to sing the tragedy that is Donald Trump. She is Donald Trump in a skirt. 

But that doesn’t mean she is wrong.  

Today's takeaway from reading Strunk and White's "Elements of Style"? 

Most writing problems can be solved by editing things out. Specifically the words "that," "would," and "nice."

Once again, dasvidaniya.  Here are my blog stats by country today. 

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