Saturday, January 14, 2017

Von Miller’s Denver Bronco teammates have fined him $15,000 - 30 times $500 - for flatulence. That is the most gas in the NFL prior to Dean Spanos's brain fart that moved them to L.A.

Friday, January 13, 2017

The Chargers announced their move to LA at the same time they unveiled their L.A. logo. That’s like breaking up with a girl by asking her if she wants to see a tattoo of your new girlfriend. 

The Chargers will play two seasons in Carson. Before you judge Carson too quickly, Charger fans, you should take a gang up and drive-by and shoot a look. 

"Buzzfeed" is under criticism for publishing the Trump Russian dossier. Even "Buzzfeed" published a list of ten reasons "Buzzfeed" is a douche-bag.

“Today” show’s Matt Lauer admitted he cried during Joe Biden’s Medal of Freedom presentation. Matt cried so hard he soaked his choker. 

The Rams and the Chargers are in LA. There was an awkward moment when the Cleveland Browns announced they were also moving to LA but then realized LA wasn’t accepting all the bad NFL teams.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

"For the last time, Mr. Trump, the girls cannot give you a golden doodle. A golden doodle is a type of dog."

**** The US indicted six Volkswagen executives in their emissions scam. Turns out the company that made cars for Adolf Hitler was not as trustworthy as we thought.

**** In light of the recent Donald Trump rumor, Pornhub reveals the term golden showers is searched the most by New England states. It seems New England fans know how to put the P in Patriots.

**** Bella Hadid unfollowed Selena Gomez on Instagram after she saw the singer kissing The Weekend. And that is this week’s story my Aunt Trudy will not understand. 

**** The San Diego Chargers are moving up to Los Angeles. Of course they’ll play football. But eventually they want to achieve their dream: to direct.

**** The good news for Orca lovers is SeaWorld San Diego has cancelled the killer whale shows. The bad news for Orca lovers? SeaWorld is now offering “Mystery Sushi” in bulk.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

The rumor is the Russians have a tape that shows Donald Trump ordering a golden shower between two prostitutes. If this is true, his press secretary, Kellyanne Conway, is going to be pissed.

It was awkward when the FBI asked Donald Trump to use urinate in a sentence:

“Melania, you’re an eight, but if you had bigger boobs, you’d be a ten.”