Thursday, September 13, 2012


This is every third guy in my UCSB fraternity

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Honey Badger just don’t give a goddam, no-never-mind, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively got married; for those of you upset by this information, you can log onto the website

In New Hampshire they renamed a pond called Jew Pond. Now it is called Should It Kill You to Call Your Mother? Pond.

The most popular names for babies this year was Jacob, Mason and William for boys Sophia, Isabella and Emma for girls .  The least popular name? Kardashian Boo Boo.

Since you ask:

Here is a music theory of which will prove totally useless:

All great rock on roll rests on a foundation of folksy blues.

The rock scene in the US originally started as the folk scene in Greenwich Village and got edgier and more electric when it moved to Los Angeles.

Blues is really Southern African American folks songs. Country is South and South Western white guy's folks songs. It all stems from someone being able to play a guitar and sing a nice melody with moving words and harmonies.

The top blues and country guys started out as folk singers, but once they started performing in bars, to make some money, they had to ramp it up so people could dance.

It is easy for musicians to crank up a good folk song into a rock song. Once the music was written for Led Zeppelin “Three”, Jimmy Page said it took him one night to lay down all the guitar tracks.

Can’t prove it, but I bet Neil Young’s “Cinnamon Girl” started just like “Heart of Gold” but Stephen Stills and David Crosby said they wanted to rock it up. Take a good folk song, crank up the drums and guitar power chords and there you go.

The hard part is coming up with a unique melody and lyrics that fit it.

“Rolling Stone” rated the top songs of all time and almost all had one thing in common: a quiet part and a rocking part. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” “Layla” “Stairway to Heaven” “Freebird” all combine mellow with cranking.

Most of Led Zeppelin’s songs are ballad/folk songs, like “Going to California”. When he started writing songs for the Rolling Stones, Keith Richards said he was embarrassed out how many pretty love songs he had when he was trying to rev it up to rock.

When you say the name Jimi Hendrix, because we like to pigeon hole musicians, a lot of people think of the stereotype of drugged-up crazy rock guitar. But my favorite Hendrix song is "Little Wing." 

Nobody rocks out more than the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but my favorite song of theirs is "Under the Bridge" an introspective ballad. 

All great bands and performers have many acoustic harmony ballads. The Stones “Angie” and “Wild Horses.” The Beatles “Yesterday.” The Who “Behind Blue Eyes.”

Here is another insight I had. (Oh, goody) Shut up, inner-tirade.

Three of the greatest rock albums of all time had one huge dynamic in common: they were all recorded in a mansion while the band was living there. The Stones “Exile on Main Street” “Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs” and Led Zeppelin’s “Three” and “Four”.

All band members spoke of the creative feeling that grew when they weren’t under the pressure of the recording studio’s red light. Anyone who has rehearsed with a band knows the real magic and fun comes when you’re done with practicing the songs and the band is trying new stuff or just jamming.

On the flip side, you can hear the rising tension and money flowing down the drain when you listen to the Eagles “Long Run.” Well, except for “I Can’t Tell You Why” which is an awesome folk/love song/ ballad.

The History of Led Zeppelin Pt. (3/6)

Great White Invasion - Paddling With a Shark

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A goofy cranking a righty

Let's get some soup, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The Taliban has vowed to capture and or kill Prince Harry. Looks like somebody got their feelings hurt when they weren’t invited to play strip billiards in Las Vegas.

In New Jersey a teacher- of- the- year-winner was charged with sleeping with her 15-year-old male student. Somebody took Get-Acquainted Day too far.

Kim Kardashian compared her $14 mil wedding, 72-day-divorce experience to an 18-year-old girl with cancer. I’m not a lawyer, but I am pretty sure this makes it legal to send Kim to prison for being such an utter a-hole.

Khloe Kardashian threw a huge bash at the Mirage in Las Vegas to launch her new fragrance. Why the big deal? When I launch a fragrance I just ask someone to pull my finger.

Organizers of Munich’s Octoberfest say there could be a shortage of beer. Remember how, after WWII, Munich was bombed out and there was rampant hunger, inflation and unemployment? This is worse. 

Since you asked:
So I was watching a DVR of "Conan" with Ann Caroline. From time to time, the Coneski  O'Boneski likes to tease his producer, Jeff, who I guess is Jewish, with an off-the-hook Jackie Mason impression;

"Not funny. Why'd he do that? Told him not to do that. Let's get some soup."

A few days later, we doing the same thing and Conan does the same thing;

"Not good. Bad. Told him not to do it, but he did it."

And then Ann Caroline adds in a drop-dead Jackie Mason:

"Let's get some soup." 

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Am I the only one who has noticed there are only five songs right now?

"Home" Phillip Phillips, so nice they named him twice.

"We Are Young" by Fun, so fun they named them Fun. 

"I Get a Good Feeling" by Flo Rida.

"Call Me Maybe" by that young woman, Carly Rae Jepson. 

"Moves Like Jagger" Maroon 5.