A goofy cranking a righty

Let's get some soup, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The Taliban has vowed to capture and or kill Prince Harry. Looks like somebody got their feelings hurt when they weren’t invited to play strip billiards in Las Vegas.

In New Jersey a teacher- of- the- year-winner was charged with sleeping with her 15-year-old male student. Somebody took Get-Acquainted Day too far.

Kim Kardashian compared her $14 mil wedding, 72-day-divorce experience to an 18-year-old girl with cancer. I’m not a lawyer, but I am pretty sure this makes it legal to send Kim to prison for being such an utter a-hole.

Khloe Kardashian threw a huge bash at the Mirage in Las Vegas to launch her new fragrance. Why the big deal? When I launch a fragrance I just ask someone to pull my finger.

Organizers of Munich’s Octoberfest say there could be a shortage of beer. Remember how, after WWII, Munich was bombed out and there was rampant hunger, inflation and unemployment? This is worse. 

Since you asked:

So I was watching a DVR of "Conan" with Ann Caroline. From time to time, the Coneski  O'Boneski likes to tease his producer, Jeff, who I guess is Jewish, with an off-the-hook Jackie Mason impression;

"Not funny. Why'd he do that? Told him not to do that. Let's get some soup."

A few days later, we doing the same thing and Conan does the same thing;

"Not good. Bad. Told him not to do it, but he did it."

And then Ann Caroline adds in a drop-dead Jackie Mason:

"Let's get some soup."