Friday, June 08, 2012

Ashton Eaton's First Pole Vault Competition as a UO Freshman

Living in quarter- tones to ten, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Triple Crown contender, I’ll Have Another is scratched from Belmont. They say he has a sore tendon, but I think it is a drinking problem. A Triple Crown contender walks into a bar, bartender says ; “Why the long face? Hahah, just kidding, what’s your name, horse?”

“I’ll Have Another.”

“OK, OK, I’ll get you a drink. There, now what’s your name?”

“I’ll Have Another.”

Well, you can see where this would lead to a serious drinking problem. 

Italian soccer star, Mario Balotelli, explaining his troubled past, said he is a genius so few people can judge what he does. The guy was arrested for sneaking into a women’s prison and throwing a darts at kids. So yeah, the problem is he is too smart.

What do you want to bet Nike is sponsoring this d*ck bag?
 Since you asked:
“Sports Illustrated” featured our strong decathlon team – ten track and field events combined – going into the London Olympics that includes Bryan Clay who won a gold medal in Beijing. But Nike dumped Clay, a devoted husband and father of three, as a sponsor. Yet Nike keeps Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant. The moral? If you want Nike to sponsor you, be sure to cheat on your wife and kids. 

An Olympics ago, a friend of mine, who is very sports savvy, told me he thought the Decathlon was boring.

“Why would I watch a guy vault 17 feet when there are guys vaulting almost 20 feet?”

“You think UCLA has a great track team? Bryan Clay by himself beats all ten of their individual best in the ten events in the Decathlon.”

The speed required to run and jump 25 feet is amazing by itself. The strength and quickness needed to put the shot 50 feet is mind- boggling. The speed and strength to run a 46 second 400 is very impressive. All of those are Division I caliber scholarship results.

For one person to do all ten events at that level if given one year would be hard to imagine. All ten at that level over two days? It is quite simply the greatest achievement in sports. Period.

Yes, it is amazing when marathon runner run 26 miles at low five minute pace. But that is just one skill: endurance.

The football equivalent of the Decathlon is to ask the Quarterback to chuck the ball in a tight spiral 70 yards downfield, run downfield, knocking out the middle linebacker on the way, and out- sprint the cornerback and catch it. Then jump in the end zone, grab the ten foot field goal crossbar and do a high bar-like flip over it and stick the landing. 

And that is leaving out the endurance for the 1500 and the flexibility of the 110 meter hurdles.

(Just had an awful thought: what if Jerome Whitehead now works for Nike?)

Here is an offer to any corporation but those lying, snotty weasels at Nike. The Decathlon personifies what it takes to be successful in both sports and business. Never has any athlete been naturally good at seven events, let alone all ten. It takes an amazingly talented athlete willing to work tirelessly to succeed. And now, with random testing, it is clean. 

For a total budget of $300, 000-a-year, I will help organize a Decathlon program here in San Diego that will make the Visa program look like a student film. Find a qualified director, best coaches, best facilities, best weather. We will find housing, provide physical therapists, transportation, recruit sponsors, promote it, the works. 

And I don't care if it is me as long as someone does it.

What company wouldn't want their name to be associated with that? 

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Nike sucks, Torn Slattern and Nugget Ranchers

In a speech, Mitt Romney said he met a man who was seven feet tall but "Not in sport." Not in sport? That Mitt, he is nothing if not one of the guys. "Rah, rah for your local sport franchise to excel in their upcoming contest of great import."  

Since you asked:

Man, I thought Nike was a company filled of heartless, pompous, snotty a-holes - just like their ugly, stupid leader, Phil Knight - but now I despise them even more.

While reading "Decathletes" in "Sports Illustrated"  I find out Bryan Clay wins a gold medal in the Decathlon in Beijing and Nike dumps him as he trains for a second gold medal? What grasping, shallow, greedy, thoughtless douche bags. 

The amazing impact the decathlon has had in our country's sports history, Jim Thorpe, Bob Mathias, Rafer Johnson, Bill Toomey and yes, even Bruce Jenner and then Dan O'Brien, and that is how they treat a still-competitive Olympic decathlon gold medal winner? 

If Nike was capable of shame, they would feel it. They keep an utter sleazebag like Tiger Woods, but dump a genuine classy family man like Clay. Perfect. Says it all right there. 

You will not find a group of bigger ass-bags and egotistical crank-nozzles than the cult members at Nike, not even if you go to a convention of vegan doctor Prius drivers.  

And that is saying something. (This is from experience, I interviewed there.)

They make a good running shoe, but the heart and soul of Nike died when they lost their hilarious spokesperson, Liz Dolan, and marketing genius, Steve Miller. Somewhere between 1997, when Dolan left and 2001, when Miller left, you could actually see the soul of Nike leaving its body.

Offer still stands, from one shameless whore to another, Nike, I will stop writing nasty things about Nike, and Tiger, for a fee of $100,000.
Just do it.

I've Seen all Good People(studio)

Ventura Highway - America

I've Seen all Good People(studio)

Is it just me, or do both the guitar intros sound an awful lot alike?
Yesterday there was a spectacular occurrence that won't happen again until 2117. And besides the Cubs beating the Brewers 10-0, Venus went in front of the Sun. 

Since you asked:

This was the funnest - is that a word? - thing I have made on the grill in a while. I made it smaller with four skin-on, bone in chicken thighs and about ten shrimp and two Portuguese  smoked sausages sliced up. 2 cups of Arborio rice and five and a half cups of chicken stock.

You need to get a Paella pan you can use on the grill. So fun, so easy, so cool looking and amazingly tasty. Used the gas grill with soaked oak chips in a smoker box. All bubbly and reddish brown and yellow. Looked great when I added the green peas. 

The other key was Arborio rice and adding the chicken stock as I went instead of just dumping the whole thing in. 


  • 1/2 cup olive oil, divided
  • 16 chicken thighs
  • 3 tablespoons Essence, recipe follows
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons salt, divided
  • 2 pounds chorizo sausage, diced into 1/4 half moons
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 2 cups small diced red bell peppers
  • 2 cups small diced green bell peppers
  • 4 tablespoons minced garlic
  • 2 teaspoons saffron threads
  • 2 quarts chicken stock
  • 4 cups medium-grain rice
  • 2 pounds jumbo shrimp (shell on, backs split)
  • 1 pound mussels
  • 10 ounces or 2 1/3 cups frozen green peas, thawed


Set a paella pan over a grill on medium-high heat and pour 1/4 cup of olive oil. Season the chicken with 2 tablespoons of Essence and 2 teaspoons of salt. Once the oil is hot sear the chicken in the pan until well caramelized, about 4 minutes per side. Remove the chicken from the pan and set aside. Add the rest of the olive oil with the chorizo to the pan and sear, stirring occasionally, until well caramelized, about 7 minutes. Add the onions, red and green bell peppers to the pan and sweat until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and saffron to the pan and return the chicken to the pan as well. Pour the stock in the pan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium and cook the chicken for 10 minutes. Add the rice to the pan and carefully stir to incorporate. Continue to cook the rice for 15 minutes. Season the shrimp with the remaining Essence and 1/2 teaspoon of salt and add to the pan with the mussels tucking them under the rice. Continue to cook until the shrimp turn pink and the mussels begin to open, about 5 minutes. Add the peas, turn the heat to low and continue to cook the paella until a crust begins to form on the bottom of the pan, about 5 to 7 minutes more. Serve while hot.

Monday, June 04, 2012

Sports Updates:

Los Angeles Kings up 2-0 in the Stanley Cup against the New Jersey Devils. It has to be tough for New Jersey to be losing to a city where the only ice is in its margaritas.

After round four of the French Open, there are no players left from the U.S. So American sports fans are looking forward to that match between what's-their-names from wherever-it-is.

Tiger Woods won the Memorial. Tiger is back to his old self. Afterwards he hit on, not two, but three Hooters waitresses.

After chopping off his hair a year ago, Justin Bieber has gone back to the flop mop. "Oh, that is so magnificent," said no straight male who likes sports. 

Since you asked: 
Speaking of sports, I've been reading about the troubles pro athletes have adjusting to life after their sport, especially the ones who cheated with steroids, and I remember my meeting in a bar with an ex-NBA player- whom I will not name - oh, who cares, it was Jerome Whitehead.

Now, I know a guy who was cut by the San Diego Clippers when they were a league joke and he has an ego the size of Montana, so I thought I was prepared when my friend told me he was going to introduce me to a big NBA star.

First of all, Whitehead was no NBA star. He was a very good college player at Marquette when they won the National Championship in 1977, but he was an 11-year journeyman who was traded and cut by five different teams and averaged a tad over six points a game.

The guy used to be a really good basketball player, but not exactly Hall of Fame numbers.

Although I shook his hand, Jerome was clearly not excited at meeting me.  Why would he be? 

There was an awkward silence and I should have gone with my instincts not to talk to the jerk, but I took a stab at a conversation and pointed out I saw him play for Waukegan against my high school, New Trier, in 1973. What I didn't say is my team beat his and went on to finish playing in the State championship game finally losing to a much taller team. 

Truth was the only reasons I remembered him was, a, was a good player from our area who went on to the NBA, the 41st chosen in his draft, and b, his last name was the word for a type of pimple.

When I told him I saw him play in high school, Jerome looked really  annoyed and snapped;

"Hey man, I was an NBA player, I ain't going to remember every damn high school game."

To my credit I did reply;

"Listen, I don't care either, I was just trying to make conversation."

Then I did the smart thing, because  he was 6.10, and walked away. What I wished I had said was;

"You know what you and I have in common? Neither one of us is playing in the NBA right now."