Friday, June 08, 2012

Living in quarter- tones to ten, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Triple Crown contender, I’ll Have Another is scratched from Belmont. They say he has a sore tendon, but I think it is a drinking problem. A Triple Crown contender walks into a bar, bartender says ; “Why the long face? Hahah, just kidding, what’s your name, horse?”

“I’ll Have Another.”

“OK, OK, I’ll get you a drink. There, now what’s your name?”

“I’ll Have Another.”

Well, you can see where this would lead to a serious drinking problem. 

Italian soccer star, Mario Balotelli, explaining his troubled past, said he is a genius so few people can judge what he does. The guy was arrested for sneaking into a women’s prison and throwing a darts at kids. So yeah, the problem is he is too smart.

What do you want to bet Nike is sponsoring this d*ck bag?
 Since you asked:
“Sports Illustrated” featured our strong decathlon team – ten track and field events combined – going into the London Olympics that includes Bryan Clay who won a gold medal in Beijing. But Nike dumped Clay, a devoted husband and father of three, as a sponsor. Yet Nike keeps Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant. The moral? If you want Nike to sponsor you, be sure to cheat on your wife and kids. 

An Olympics ago, a friend of mine, who is very sports savvy, told me he thought the Decathlon was boring.

“Why would I watch a guy vault 17 feet when there are guys vaulting almost 20 feet?”

“You think UCLA has a great track team? Bryan Clay by himself beats all ten of their individual best in the ten events in the Decathlon.”

The speed required to run and jump 25 feet is amazing by itself. The strength and quickness needed to put the shot 50 feet is mind- boggling. The speed and strength to run a 46 second 400 is very impressive. All of those are Division I caliber scholarship results.

For one person to do all ten events at that level if given one year would be hard to imagine. All ten at that level over two days? It is quite simply the greatest achievement in sports. Period.

Yes, it is amazing when marathon runner run 26 miles at low five minute pace. But that is just one skill: endurance.

The football equivalent of the Decathlon is to ask the Quarterback to chuck the ball in a tight spiral 70 yards downfield, run downfield, knocking out the middle linebacker on the way, and out- sprint the cornerback and catch it. Then jump in the end zone, grab the ten foot field goal crossbar and do a high bar-like flip over it and stick the landing. 

And that is leaving out the endurance for the 1500 and the flexibility of the 110 meter hurdles.

(Just had an awful thought: what if Jerome Whitehead now works for Nike?)

Here is an offer to any corporation but those lying, snotty weasels at Nike. The Decathlon personifies what it takes to be successful in both sports and business. Never has any athlete been naturally good at seven events, let alone all ten. It takes an amazingly talented athlete willing to work tirelessly to succeed. And now, with random testing, it is clean. 

For a total budget of $300, 000-a-year, I will help organize a Decathlon program here in San Diego that will make the Visa program look like a student film. Find a qualified director, best coaches, best facilities, best weather. We will find housing, provide physical therapists, transportation, recruit sponsors, promote it, the works. 

And I don't care if it is me as long as someone does it.

What company wouldn't want their name to be associated with that?