Tuesday, June 13, 2006

It is hard out here

They gotta let go from the get go, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Not since then
The World Cup host Germans are going crazy for the World Cup matches and Americans don’t seem to care; in fact, this is the most excited Germans have been about something Americans don’t care about since David Hasselhof’s singing career.

Ouch
Today 769 movie theaters dropped “Mission Impossible 3” I don’t want to say “Mission Impossible 3” is a disaster but al-Zarqawi didn’t have as big a bomb dropped on him.

Not good
In the first game of the NBA finals, the Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat 90-80. Miami center Shaquille O’Neal missed nine free throws in a row until he made one when it didn’t matter. He missed eight free throws in a row. Even Dick Cheney can shoot better than that.

Sick
A man in Alabama was arrested for having sex with a pony. Disgustingly, the guy wasn’t talking about his raspy voice when he said he was feeling a little horse.

A man in Alabama was arrested for having sex with a pony. Hey, Alabama, look at the bright side, at least he wasn’t related to the pony.

Where is the love?
The big news is Iraq’s top al Qaeda’s terrorist, al- Zarqawi, was killed. The rumor is that al-Zarqawi was given up by a fellow al Qaeda terrorist. Whatever happened to the special bond of trust that used to exist between terrorists?

Natalie Mensa
The Dixie Chicks concert ticket sales are way down because fans were insulted by disparaging comments about country music listeners by lead singer Natalie Maines. Look for the Dixie Chicks next single; “Hey Natalie, shut up and sing.”  


We’ve seen this before
The World Cup of Soccer starts this weekend. Some experts predict the host team, Germany, could win it all. They might, as we already know, Germany will walk right through France.

The World Cup starts this weekend. My favorite game is when Germany plays France; after the opening kickoff, the French start playing for the Germans.

Same thing
In the middle of her publicized divorce of Paul McCartney, an Internet site has pictures of Heather McCartney engaging in hard core porn. Not to get too graphic, but the pictures show a guy doing to Heather what Heather wants to do to Paul in the divorce settlement.

Yah mannn
Banned for a year from the NFL for multiple failed pot tests, Miami Dolphin stoner Ricky Williams has signed with the Toronto Argonauts. Why Toronto? Because they don’t have a football team in Kingston, Jamaica.

Sorry, but I have to
In the middle of her publicized divorce of Sir Paul McCartney, an Internet site has pictures of Heather McCartney engaged in hard core porn. Heather is furious, even for a one-legged woman, she was hopping mad.

Heather was going to sue the tabloid, but, her case doesn’t have a leg to stand on.