Thursday, January 10, 2019

Phillip Rivers and his wife, Tiffany, are expecting their ninth child. 

Apparently, Phillip has decided, since there are no Chargers fans in L.A., he is going to manufacture them.

In the first week, 26 million people watched "Bird Box."

Spoiler alert, "Bird Box" is about people who, if their blindfold comes off, want to kill themselves. 

They got the idea from Melania Trump's honeymoon.

Tuesday, January 08, 2019

Kim and Kanye expecting their fourth child. Their other children are named Saint, Chicago, and North. No truth to the rumor the fourth kid will be named Hoobastank.

The Russian lawyer in the Trump Tower meeting, Natalie Veselnitskaya, has been charged with money laundering.

This is wild. The name Veselnitskaya is Russian for "Hookers who go pee-pee."

"The Bachelor" is former NFL player, Colton Underwood, who claims he is a virgin. A virgin?

They should have picked Chicago Bears kicker, Cody Parkey. If Cody can bang a contestant like he can bang a goalpost, that would be a wild show.

The bachelor on "The Bachelor", Colton Underwood, is a former NFL player who claims he is a virgin. The only thing harder than an NFL player staying a virgin is to find a Chargers fan in Los Angeles.

Since you asked:

A couple of years ago, YouTube stars, whom I am a big fan, Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart, made a film/series called “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.” It was legit. It was filmed with a real director on a real set in Vancouver with trailers for the stars and the whole shebang. 

Co-stars, stunt people, extras, craft services. This production had it all. 

The problem? It was not findable on any medium I could find to view it. Not in theaters, not on Netflix, Amazon, OnDemand, Hulu, YouTube or anything else. It was an Internet joke version of “Argo.” But instead of a movie being made not to be filmed, this movie was filmed, it just was sent to a format nobody could find.

It even managed to get nominated for awards. 

Someone just pointed out how much Africa’s animals kick our animals’ ass. They said it's like Africa woke up when the animal store first opened and we staggered in all hungover at noon. 

"No lions? Oh, crap. OK, I'll take a poop-ton of deer and antelope playing and a few of those mountain goats."

We have some great animals. Bald eagles, bears, bison, cougars. But we have alligators and they have huge crocodiles. We have mountain lions, they have real lions. And Tigers. But no bears. Oh, my. Not to mention the O’s. Hippos and Rhinos. And one of my favorite animals, giraffes.

And the best of all, elephants. We don’t have elephants except in our circuses. 

We have dolphins, but everyone has dolphins. 

Watching Tarzan as a kid, Africa would sic about ten deadly animals on Tarzan a show. A huge snake or two, a lion, a crocodile, a charging rhino, a rogue elephant, gorillas, leopards aplenty. 

Leopards are some badass dudes, boy. Leopards are the Decathletes/tight ends of the animal kingdom. They can run down a gazelle and then lift it into a tall tree so scavengers can’t get it. Leopards have hidden 200-pound human bodies into the top of 20-foot trees. 

And that doesn’t even cover spiders, quicksand, and cannibals from the Congo. 

Short-dicked or not. 

Wolf Blitzer’s voice level always hovers just below, “OK, no need to shout, Wolf. Calm down.”

To paraphrase the likable Bugger McFarland, statistics are like bikinis, they reveal a lot but none of the good stuff. 

Donald Trump's poll numbers should not be confused with his Q-rating. The people who still support Donald Trump - and many are just Hillary/Democrat haters - don’t really like Trump. But the people who are against Trump despise him with a red-hot passion.

There are two main factors in Q-ratings. One is, A, familiarity - which Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian score out the roof, everyone knows who they are - but the other factor is, B, likability and Trump’s score was less than half of a normal celebrity’s likability two years ago. 

It has gotten way worse.

The Kardashians are proof Q-ratings familiarity numbers will sell products even though their likability is far below average. 

The general consensus is teenage girls say, 

“Oh, those Kardashians are so stupid, but I bet their perfume is amazing. Where can I get that purse? Kim is so vapid. But I have to have those shoes.” 

Now all that is on the positive side. Q-rating also rank unlikeability. The average celebrity unlikeability ranking is 15. 

Trump's is 50. And that was in 2016.

It has gotten way worse.

Besides a hardcore group of ardent MAGA's, it is not an exaggeration to believe Donald Trump is the most despised president in our nation's history. 

And they named depression shanty towns after Herbert Hoover. 

Sunday, January 06, 2019

Bruce Springsteen and Melissa Etheridge - Thunder Road