Friday, November 11, 2016

Something big happened on Tuesday? 

A study shows that talking to yourself is not crazy, it means you are really smart. Really? Yes, that is great news. Isn’t it? It sure is. 

Facebook is experiencing an unprecedented amount of un-friending due to political differences. Today Bruce Jenner unfriended Caitlyn Jenner because she voted for Trump.

Following the Donald Trump win, the second happiest man has to be Billy Bush. He is as happy as a Bush that hasn’t been grabbed by Trump. 

Melania Trump is excited about being the First Lady. Her first order of business is to work with the FBI to capture Moose and Squirrel. 

A University of Colorado study claims heavier shoes can make you run slower. Wow. They really do smoke a lot of pot in Colorado. 

Taco Bell is adding 9,000 more restaurants. Their new motto? Run For the Border Wall.”

Former Illinois Congressman, Aaron Shock, who had his office designed after “Downton Abbey,” has been indicted for stealing. Soon his office will be designed like “Orange is the New Black.”

A University of Colorado study clams heavier shoes can make you run slower. The entire corporation of Nike had to take a sick day to process this information. 

Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall when Donald Trump explains the whole “Living in the White House” thing to Melania?

Monday, November 07, 2016

The viral picture of the Chicago River being dyed blue for the Cubs World Series win was photoshopped. “Thank goodness,” said the Cuyahoga River next to the Cleveland Browns.

If the Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl this year, god will turn the Chicago river into Old Style beer.