Tuesday, March 08, 2011

This just in:

A Florida man is suing the women who took his foot after a car accident. The guy is really hopping mad.

But I'm not sure his suit has a leg to stand on.

He's right to be mad about his missing foot, at least they could have called a toe truck.

What kind of heel would steal a foot? His lawsuit is a shoe-in to win. I think he should skip the whole thing.
So who is Charlie "Duh! Winning!" Sheen's favorite magician? Doouug Henning.

Monday, March 07, 2011

What else can a body say except snickity, shny, shnee, shnoo?

I want to hold you until the fear in me subsides, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Warner Brothers has officially fired Charlie Sheen; gosh, I wonder what he is going to do to console himself?

Between Lindsay Lohan facing prison and Charlie Sheen's nutty rants, I don't care what they say, I'm starting to think cocaine isn't so great for you.
Oh it seemed like a holy place
Protected by amazing grace

It’s National Procrastination Week. This just in: National Procrastination Week has been postponed to next week, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Film maker, Michael Moore, spoke to the Wisconsin union protesters and said; “Right now the ground is shaking and the earth is moving under the feet of those in charge.” So apparently Moore was doing some jumping jacks.

Moore, spoke in support of the Wisconsin union protesters despite the fact Moore refused to use union members in his last film. Next Moore will speak in support of diet and fitness at the Health Expo.

Film maker, Michael Moore, spoke in support of the Wisconsin union protesters saying Wisconsin isn’t broke, the country isn’t broke. You know what is broke? The chair Michael Moore sat in.

A study says a small nuclear war could reverse the effects of global warming. Hmm, hey, Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi? Iran President, Maomud Ahmadinejad just called you a pussy.

A study says a small nuclear war could reverse the effects of global warming. In addition, it would make Al Gore’s head explode.

A California couple had a bad fight, he jumped into his car, she jumped on to the hood, and he drove 40 miles at 100 mph with her on the hood. So apparently Charlie Sheen is down to one goddess now.

Sadly, a Michigan high school sports star died after making the winning shot in an undefeated basketball season. Or as guys call him: that lucky bastard.

One of the stars of BYU’s #3 ranked basketball team, Brandon Davies, was kicked off the team for violating the school’s honor code by having premarital sex. Upon hearing this, the entire campuses of USC said; “That’s funny. No, really, why was he kicked off?”

Upon hearing this, the students at Cal Tech said “What’s premarital sex?”

Since you asked:

Saw “Troubadours” on PBS. All about my Laurel Canyon obsession, but focusing mainly on the influence James Taylor and Carole King had on that scene, which was immense. Loved Carole King – how could you not? But sometimes her music was a little hippy chicky for me. Same with Joni Mitchell. But both quintessentially 1970’s Laurel Canyon at its collaborative and wildly talented best.

Tourbadours” pointed out the amazing core musicians of that era, guitarist Danny Kortchmar, bassist Lee Sklar and drummer Russ Kunkel. Those guys were everywhere in that scene of scenes. Had they not been so busy working with Jackson Browne, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Elton John, Carole King, Randy Newman when Linda the R needed a band at Disneyland, we would be saying “Eagles who?”

Kortchmar teamed with Don Henley and really gave Henley’s solo career a crazy boost on “End of the Innocence” and “Building the Perfect Beast” (The title track being the only Don Henley song I can’t listen to)

“Troubadours” was interesting how they mentioned the Eagles to address how the East Coast music critics hated the L.A. sound, particularly the Eagles. This schlub-Woody-Allen-wannabe who wrote for the “Village Voice” pontificated how rock and roll then should have been about hating Nixon and fighting in the streets, not taking it easy or having a peaceful easy feeling.

And then nobody interviewed in that “Troubadours” documentary, Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt nor James Taylor, defends the Eagles. Interesting. Just like sports, the fans can get a player wrong, the press can get a player wrong. The teammates don't get a player wrong. That is some serious damning with no praise.

But what a snotty hypocrite that “Village Voice” a-hole critic is. Rock and roll is so far from Mick Jagger ever being a street fighting man. As much as I love the Stones, that’s hypocritical. You think Stephen Stills ever attended a protest? And he wrote “For What Its Worth” the protesting hippie’s national anthem. While protesters were getting their heads beaten by cops, Stills was in a comfy music studio on Sunset Blvd blasting blow up his nose. Likewise Jagger.

By singing about catching a buzz and getting with pretty women, at least the Eagles were honest.

But I get the backlash against the Eagles then and especially now. What I didn’t know then, but I do know now, is without Don Henley’s cranky and insane perfectionism and Glenn Frey’s cold-blooded ruthless ambition, and both of their greedy lust, the Eagles don’t become the Eagles. But those same traits are also why they treat people so horribly.

From unanimous accounts, Bruce Springsteen, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, Carole King and Keith Richards are sweethearts who treat people well. So being a huge, rich star doesn’t automatically excuse rudeness and betrayal.

In the end, no matter how great the songs are – and for me they don’t come much better than “Seven Bridges Road” “Boys of Summer” “Desperado” and “Hotel California” - it is impossible to like spoiled, rich rock stars who treat people so unkindly.