Wednesday, July 23, 2014

 “Comic Con” begins in San Diego on Thursday, so get your computers and internet servers fixed now.

“Comic Con” begins in San Diego on Thursday. It is the only time of the year where hookers are hired to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Commenting on the downing of the MH17 flight, a US official said there won’t be a Perry Mason moment where the shooter is revealed. This just in: that US official is very, very old.

Commenting on the downing of the MH17 flight, a US official said there won’t be a Perry Mason moment where the shooter is revealed. That official then left to buy a single from that new band called “The Beatles” to play on his phonograph.”

A study from UC San Diego claims dogs get jealous. In a related story, upon hearing of this dog jealousy study, parents paying tuition at UC San Diego are pissed off.

Random Randoms:

All the stink about Tony Dungy saying he wouldn't draft Michael Sam due to all the distractions that would surround the first openly gay NFL player?
Sam was the seventh from last player drafted at 249 in the seventh round. Not positive, but I think I was the 250th player taken in the draft. Plus there are a ton of walk-ons. His chance of making the Rams is small. Yes, he was a great SEC player, but, like Tim Tebow, his skills simply do not fit the NFL. Slow forty and only weighs 250. Falls between the cracks. 
Personally, I hope Sam makes it. He seems like a great guy and it would be interesting. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

All Hail "The League" Rafi

Get your programs, here. You can't tell the players  without a program . . . 

Monday, July 21, 2014

Huge fan of the James Garner. Like Clint Eastwood and Fess Parker, he always struck me as a consumate California man. He always looked like he had just gotten done with playing Pebble Beach and was about to order a big juicy steak and a cold martini. 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

And we are feeling sorry for this guy . . . why?



Has anyone ever seen Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly in the same room at the same time?

Friday, July 18, 2014

Does your company have a comedy-writer consultant? No? Well it should. 

Varying entities like Virgin Airways, Vitamin Water, Weber Grills, the CIA and Al Gore have hired comedy writers. Yes, Al Freaking Gore. Do you really want your company to seem to have less of a sense of humor than the CIA or Al Gore?
The world’s sense of humor has not caught up with its technology. The CIA has a comedy writer posting their tweets. With more and more influence given to social media, your company’s image has never been more visible in more different ways.

Here is the CIA's first tweet:

"We can neither confirm nor deny this is our first tweet."

Now, I can neither confirm nor deny I am the comedy writer producing that tweet. Just like I can neither confirm nor deny I was the special forces operative who shot Osama bin Laden. 
But I can say is you,  like the CIA, need a comedy consultant to write tweets, post on Facebook and write funny and current e-mails. 

Why have boring boiler-plate, legal drivel on your products when you could give your customers a smile? You can give the same necessary instructions, only funnier. 

If you’re serious about boosting your firm’s image with humor:

Enough with the slobbering over poor Derek Jeter. Want to know how good Derek's life is? He broke up with her, Adriana Lima. 

In New Jersey, the Trump Plaza Casino is closing. It turns out the casino had lost money right from the top, but they tried to cover it up from the side.