Wednesday, April 01, 2015


Josie Conseco, daughter of Jose Conseco, was arrested for a DUI. Jose can’t put his finger on what her problem is, because he doesn’t have it anymore.

New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez was indicted on 16 counts of corruption. When asked to comment; Menendez said; “Hah. Good one, April Fools. Hey, where are you taking me?”

An Alabama baby boy was born completely healthy but without a nose. On the bright side, he is the leading contender to get the part of Lord Voldermort in his high school production of “Harry Potter.”

The doctors are still trying to convince his parents this is not a April Fools Day joke.

29/31 by Garfunkel and Oates

F-Bomb warning, but so good . . .

This just in:

In Japan, the World’s Oldest Person, Misao Okowa, died at 117. I'm not  superstitious, but I could swear the title World’s Oldest Person was cursed.

Thanks to the comedy website, “Funny or Die” the latest trend on the Internet are video clips called Dips that are 1.5 seconds long. Is our attention span really that short that . . . oh, I got a text.

Dips are great because who has time anymore to watch those 15 second Instagram marathon sessions? 

Folks, Easter will soon be here. Please, do not buy your children a rabbit for Easter. They are not a toy. One day, they will get out and get impregnated by the neighbor's Chihuahua and that is how Justin Bieber was born.

(The less stupid shit you'll do)

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

What About the Dufresnes?

Justin Bieber is recording an album with Kanye West. At long last, an album all people, young, old, rich, poor, black and white, can join together as one to despise unitedly

Led Zeppelin-Ten Years Gone

For Mitch Hedberg
This just in:

Tiger Woods’s private jet was seen at Augusta, Georgia, so he may be playing in the upcoming Masters Tournament. “Wow, that is exciting news,” said six years ago.

Mitch Hedberg on the Late Show 3/12/03

Ten years gone
A study claims taking a 45-minute nap in the middle of the day can improve your memory. It will help you remember why you’re unemployed.

A Justice Department report claims US DEA agents in Columbia had drug- fueled sex parties with prostitutes supplied by drug cartels. If this is true, the DEA agents will be charged with literally doing everything they’re not supposed to do.

The “Comedy Central” Justin Bieber roast was rough. Bruce Jenner’s testicles are in for an easier time than what happened to Justin’s.

Indiana Gov., Mike Pence, has received a ton of hatred for his anti-gay law. But don’t worry, Pence plans on redeeming himself by going on “Ellen” and getting roasted on “Comedy Central.”

The NCAA final four is in Indiana, which just passed the “Religious Freedom” anti-gay law. So now, during the games, the announcers will not be allowed to use the terms, tip off, putting a body on someone, ball-handling and taking it to the hole.  

The “Comedy Central” Justin Bieber roast was rough. At one point, the roasters on the dais started throwing poop at Justin’s monkey.

The “Comedy Central” Justin Bieber roast featured Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, Ludicris, Shaq and Hannibal Burress. I have not heard the N-word that much since Paula Dean’s soufflé dropped.

Since you asked:

Wish those online lists would provide a clear ending. For example, you’re flipping through pictures of a list titled; 

“Celebrities Who Have Had Sexually Transmitted Diseases.” 

And it is the usual suspects, Charlie Sheen, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Tommy Lee, Madonna, Dennis Rodman, Ke$ha, Pamela Anderson, Matthew McConaughey.

And suddenly you’re looking at pictures of Pope Francis, Taylor Swift, Mother Teresa and Tim Tebow, and you yell, “What the chocolate-dipped mother efffffffff . . . ?” and you look up and the list has changed to; 

"Most Religious Celebrities."