Hot fun in the summer time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

No relation to Mystery Alaska
Paris Hilton said she ate mystery meat in prison. I believe her full name was Mystery Sanchez.

Now that’s hot
It was hot in Los Angeles. It was so hot, I was sweating like a guy named Akmed trying to clear security at Heathrow airport.

First time
Christie Kerr gave her husband a passionate embrace after winning the US Open Women’s golf championship. This also marks the first time the words: women’s golf husband and passionate embrace have appeared together.

Dilemma
This is a tricky time for American sports fans. It is tough to decide which drug-tainted sporting event we care less about, the Tour De France or Barry Bonds home run record chase.

Resemblance
The Memorial concert for Princess Diana was attended by Prince Harry as rumors grow that Harry’s father is Diana’s polo playing lover James Hewitt as Harry looks more like Hewitt. And Harry’s polo horse looks more like its mother every day, Camilla Parker Bowles.

Sweet girl
At the Oakland A’s game, New York Yankee’s slugger Alex Rodriguez’s wife wore a t-shirt with the message F-You on the back. How could A-Rod be having marital problems with this charming class act?

At the Oakland A’s game, New York Yankee’s slugger Alex Rodriguez’s wife wore a t-shirt with the message F-You on the back. Apparently her “Suck A-Rod” t-shirt was at the cleaners.

If you know what I mean . . .
At Wimbledon a French woman, Tatiana Golovin, created a stir when she wore red panties. Let’s just say that the upper lip of the British wasn’t the only thing that was stiff.

At Wimbledon a French woman, Tatiana Golovin, created a stir when she wore red panties. That is utterly shocking. A French woman wore panties?

So she must be normal, right?
The lawyer for that crazy astronaut, Lisa Nowak, said Nowak didn’t wear diapers. Yeah, she drove 950-miles straight to kidnap a co-workers lover in a jealous rage, but heaven forbid we think she’s nuts enough to wear diapers.