Monday, June 18, 2007

Take it to the rack, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

“Americans Idle”
Former American Idol winner, Kelly Clarkson, had to cancel her summer tour due to weak ticket sales. When asked to comment, former second place finisher Justin Gaurini said;

“Welcome to the Olive Garden, can I take your order?”

You punk get off my lawn
In a inter-league match up between the New York Mets and the New York Yankees, 44-year-old pitcher Roger Craig faced 48-year-old Julio Franco. There was an awkward moment when Craig and Franco had to take a time out to remember where they put their reading glasses.

Truth in advertising laws kicking in
Rosie O’Donnell has been named as a possible replacement “The Price is Right” host for Bob Barker. Of course, if Rosie is the host, the name will have to change from “The Price is Right” to “The Price Is Right But Rosie is Truly Scary”

Sounds eerily familiar
The US Open at Oakmont was tough. How tough? To get them back on the course on Sunday, many of the players had to be handcuffed and led sobbing into a patrol car.

Hate to see that
Angel Cabrera won the US Open on a tough Oakmont course outside Pittsburgh. The course was so tough, John Daly hit a ball that accidentally knocked the knife out of his wife’s hands.

How tough was it?
To give you an idea how tough the US Open was at Oakmont was even for Tiger Woods, for one split second, I actually almost felt sorry for a young, handsome billionaire golfer who is married to a Swedish swimsuit model.

In Pennsylvania, 12 women ages 70 to 80 posed nude for a charity calendar. Actually, it was only 11 women. Miss June sagged all they way down through to July.

Don’t confuse the two
The new hit show on HBO is “John From Cincinnati” about a dysfunctional surfer family. And here I thought “John from Cincinnati” was the name they give a guy testifying against the Bengals in the witness protection program.

Since you asked:

We did it up San Diego style for Dad day. Grabbed some tasty Rubio’s fish tacos and went to the park above the beach in Del Mar. Set up the wooden slat table complete with a candle, put out the iPod portable speaker and played a playlist heavy with Jimmy Buffet, the Beach Boys and Jack Johnson after a brisk swim in the ocean.

We met our friends whose daughter, Hannah the Dynamo, plays soccer with our A.C. and we sipped wine and munched while the girls boogy boarded and jumped rope and kicked the soccer ball.

Now if the Cubs could have just beaten the Paydays it would have been the perfect Dad’s day.
But it was pretty good.