Monday, November 01, 2004

Oh yes, it is all down to this righteous throw down, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It’s down to the wire, folks
After all the ugliness, after all the debates, all the publicity, we can now finally end our national tortured dilemma: Who had a worse week, Bill O’Reilly or Ashlee Simpson?

Hard to believe
Can you believe the election is tomorrow? That means the president will be chosen in a mere three months.

Got that time back
*Now that we set the clocks back this weekend we gained an hour; that makes up for the time we lost during the debate waiting for President Bush to pronounce the word: exaggeration.

Not classy
Osama bin Laden has another video out. Maybe it was just me, but I thought it was bad form when Osama mentioned Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter.

If you look closely, you can see that Osama is lip-synching.

Not a good idea
In the Philadelphia Eagles defeat of the Baltimore Ravens, Terrell Owens mocked Lewis’s pre-game dance moves during T.O.’s touchdown dance. T.O should try something a little less stupid and dangerous then taunting Lewis, like flirting with O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend.

Rule of thumb: when taunting an opponent, generally avoid those who have been charged with murder.

Not fair
The San Diego Wild Animal park has a new exhibit that features lions behind thick glass windows. Isn’t that mean to have the people so close to the lions? That would be like separating Michael Moore behind a glass window while hamburgers and Krispy Kreme donuts parade by.

He wasn’t using his listening ears
Rapper R. Kelley was kicked off the Jay Z tour. Or to put it in terms R. Kelley can understand, Jay Z put R. Kelley in a time-out.

It’s down to this
Well folks, it’s time to decide: do we want John Kerry and four years of “The Munsters” re-runs or President Bush and four more years of a “Forrest Gump” sequel?

Weighty topic
Now that he is with the Miami Heat, Shaquille O’Neal said he lost 35 pounds. Just to put that in perspective, Shaq losing 35 pounds is like tossing a box of Twinkies off a battleship.

Losing 35 pounds really is not a big deal when your shoes alone weigh forty pounds.

Please indulge me:
The first time I was able to vote was my first year in college in California and, like with so many things in my life at that time, I keenly looked forward to it as this blessed magical event and, right afterwards, I had to ask: “Are you kidding? So that’s it?”

This less than profound experience may have caused me to miss a few opportunities to exercise my inalienable right. Obviously it wasn’t the activity of the voting itself that was supposed to be magical, but the process of democracy in action.

Nobody knew this better than my Mother. The last public act my Mother performed was to vote in an early spring primary on a cold, rainy Illinois morning. Mom was keenly politically active and volunteered in local politics her whole life; my mother was a lifelong democrat who had a firm faith in grass-roots politics and an unwavering belief in democracy's ability to help people.

So even though her cancer had metastasized further than we could have imagined and she was in far worse pain than she wanted us to believe, my Mother leaned on me as I practically carried her - it wasn't hard, she was light - into the Church where she would last vote.

As we made our slow but steady ascent up the Church stairs, I caught a distinguished older man’s sharp eyes quickly assess both the sadness and the courage of my Mother’s act; he gave her a smile and said ; “Bad tennis injury, huh?” My Mom got a nice kick out of that.

The Church was right across the cross street from our house, but, given what we now know about my Mother’s advanced condition, it may as well have been on top of a cliff. Either way it wouldn’t have mattered, Ann Rodgers Kaseberg was going to vote that day. My Mother was going to vote even if it killed her.

Michael Moore shouldn't have to give somebody underwear to lure them to vote. Leonardo DiCaprio's pleas shouldn't make them want to vote.

We all know that countless brave heroes have died for our right to vote. It gives me great pride to say that I witnessed a certain brave hero vote even though she was dying.