Saturday, October 16, 2004

Saturday morning post last night's Jim Beam Marinade marinated perfectly grilled juicy medium rare and sautee'd onion and roasted garlic butter melted steak and very nice Merlot wine dinner coffee fueled rant:

Have you seen the International Harvester’s 7300 CXT? It’s a massive pickup truck that looks exactly like the cab of an 18-wheeler, including tall chrome exhaust pipe and chrome side diesel barrels. It’s the perfect vehicle for guys whose penis is so small it can’t actually be measured.

Tiger Woods has skipped the Funai Classic golf tournament in favor of luxury yachting around the Caribbean with his Swedish bikini model wife, Elin Nordegren. In other words, Tiger has found the single only other activity on the planet that is better than playing golf for millions of dollars. Reason # 3,765 why Tiger’s life is so much better than ours.

How would you like to be the pot-bellied former bully who talks to Eldrick “Tiger” Woods at Anaheim’s Western High reunion?

“So, Eldrick, what have you been doing since I hung you from your jockey shorts after gym?”

“Well, Biff, after taking a break from making nearly a billion dollars playing golf, I took my Swedish bikini model wife on a private luxury yacht for a honeymoon in the Caribbean? And you?”

“Me? Oh, I was employee-of-the-month at the “Small World” exhibit at Disneyland.”

But can Tiger grill a steak? Answer: He doesn't need to.