This also just in:

I got a traffic ticket the other day, but I think I can get out of it; I’m going to tell the Judge I’m still the president of Iraq.


I am not proud of this. Oh, hell, yes I am . . .

Bill Clinton’s “My Life” is still hot and “Spider Man 2” is number one. In short, it’s been a good week for guys famous for stuff shooting out of them.

(Cringe)

This just in:


Rumor has it that Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski might leave for the Los Angeles Lakers. When asked to comment, President Bush asked;

“Who’s Mike Shavershankssnuffleupaguss?”



Not that I am bitter

Have you seen “Last Comic Standing”? If these people are so darn funny, how come, when they are voting in that little photo booth, not one of them has ever asked where the toilet paper is?

Now that's comedy.