The toilet on the international space station is broken again. You know it’s bad when someplace has more crap floating in the air than a presidential election.


Because of the bailout, Washington is going to regulate Wall Street. The Wall Street sleazebags who bundled bad mortgages are going to be patrolled by politicians. That’s like having Elliot Spitzer regulating a brothel.

That’s like making Idaho Senator Larry Craig a bathroom monitor.

That’s like having Amy Winehouse guarding the pharmacy.

Recently Congress grilled Richard Fuld, the ex-CEO of Lehman Brothers, as to why he took a $480 million dollar bonus while many Lehman’s investors lost their life savings. Apparently Fuld was instructed to do so by his father: Satan.

Yesterday and today the market was up, last week it was down; if this market was anymore unstable it would have to start dating a lesbian disk jockey.

Today it was up, last week it was down; if this market was anymore unstable it would have to take off its panties and divorce Kevin Federline.

Today the market was up, last week it was down; If this market was any more unstable it would have to change it’s name to Andy Dick.