That thang is flat out tookus, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Format change
The first Presidential debate was with podiums; the last one was the town hall format. The next one? Wrasslin’.

Not good
This financial crisis is bad. My broker didn’t jump off a ledge but I did catch him chugging a glass of Chinese milk.

To give you an idea how bad the market is, there is a report of a straight male going to see “Nights in Rodanthe” just to get his mind off the stock market.

Imagine that?
Rumor is that, after just having her baby, 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again. And believe it or not, copies of her mother, Lynne’s book on parenting are still readily available.

Tough to watch
To be honest, the Presidential debates were tough for me. Watching John McCain meander around the stage reminded me of the time we had to pick up our great Uncle Ronnie after he snuck out of his care facility and wandered into the all-girl’s boarding school dorm.

Like that
David Duchovney was released from sex addiction rehab to return home to his wife, the gorgeous Tea Leoni. That’s like congratulating a guy in A.A. by giving him a Budweiser distributorship

Yuck
Roseanne Barr claims somebody stole her sex tape. In a related story, I was attacked today by a pack of rabid pit bulls. The rabid pit bull story is neither related nor true, but I had to get a more pleasant image in my head than the Roseanne Barr sex tape.

Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
The credit crisis hit the international markets as Brazilian stocks fell for the sixth day; it was a little awkward when President Bush heard this he cried; “Oh no. How many stocks is a Brazilian?”

Personality issues
Dallas Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones got in a fight with his bodyguard. When you can’t get along with the guy who is paid to keep you from getting in fights it might be time to work on your people skills.

Dallas Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones got in a fight with his bodyguard. That’s like getting your sex education teacher pregnant.