It is hard out here
We gonna throw down in the home town, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Yikes
So far this season, San Francisco Giants Barry Bonds is only batting .167 with no home runs. To show how bad that is, Bonds’s slugging percentage is shrinking faster than his testicles.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
President Bush’s approval rating in California is the lowest since Nixon’s in 1974; Upon hearing this, President Bush scoffed; “That’s silly, I wasn’t even president in 1974.”
That should do it
Selected Wal Marts are now offering Sushi. You can get Sushi at Wal Mart. Well, this should put the ill back in illegal immigrants.
Paid for by nobody for Alex Kaseberg
Actor Alec Baldwin said he was willing to give up sex for a month to see a democratic president elected. Unless Dennis Kucinich gets elected and then we’re all screwed. I’m Alex Kaseberg
and I approve this joke.
Amazing
Scientists are creating a plane that can go from New York to Los Angeles in half an hour, so with the time change, you can arrive in LA two and a half hours earlier then when you left New York, upon hearing this, President Bush said, “Oh my goodness, they’ve invented a time machine.”
That explains it
At the Kentucky Derby you will be able to buy a mint julep for $1,000; it sounds expensive, but apparently it’s made out of gasoline.
So there
A survey claims that Americans are angrier and swearing more than ever; personally, I’d like to take whoever did that survey and kick his damn ass.
A big day for Hashie
The President of Iran, Hashemi Rafsanjani, said Iran is capable of making nuclear fuel; in addition, Rafsanjani proudly announced he was a finalist in the Ringo Starr look-alike contest.
Goody
Dominoes is making a pizza 30% bigger than extra large. It’s called the “Get a pizza as big as your fat ass” special.
Sounds familiar
Did you see “The Sopranos” Tony Soprano gets worried that his mob thinks he is gone weak so Tony picks out a guy and beats him up for no reason; the episode is called; “Tony Mimics Bush’s Iraq Strategy.”
Since you asked:
I have this theory that Sienna Miller and Nicky Hilton and Naomi Watts and Nicole Richey and the Olsen twins and about ten other skinny blonde celebrities are all really the same person.
There is more than the usual amount of hypocrisy to go around on this immigration bill and the resultant protests. First you have the people protesting the fact that what they are currently doing illegally might be enforced and you have the conservatives crying the hackneyed “What is it about the word illegal that they don’t understand?” while their kitchen remodel is being completed by undocumented workers.
Yikes
So far this season, San Francisco Giants Barry Bonds is only batting .167 with no home runs. To show how bad that is, Bonds’s slugging percentage is shrinking faster than his testicles.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
President Bush’s approval rating in California is the lowest since Nixon’s in 1974; Upon hearing this, President Bush scoffed; “That’s silly, I wasn’t even president in 1974.”
That should do it
Selected Wal Marts are now offering Sushi. You can get Sushi at Wal Mart. Well, this should put the ill back in illegal immigrants.
Paid for by nobody for Alex Kaseberg
Actor Alec Baldwin said he was willing to give up sex for a month to see a democratic president elected. Unless Dennis Kucinich gets elected and then we’re all screwed. I’m Alex Kaseberg
and I approve this joke.
Amazing
Scientists are creating a plane that can go from New York to Los Angeles in half an hour, so with the time change, you can arrive in LA two and a half hours earlier then when you left New York, upon hearing this, President Bush said, “Oh my goodness, they’ve invented a time machine.”
That explains it
At the Kentucky Derby you will be able to buy a mint julep for $1,000; it sounds expensive, but apparently it’s made out of gasoline.
So there
A survey claims that Americans are angrier and swearing more than ever; personally, I’d like to take whoever did that survey and kick his damn ass.
A big day for Hashie
The President of Iran, Hashemi Rafsanjani, said Iran is capable of making nuclear fuel; in addition, Rafsanjani proudly announced he was a finalist in the Ringo Starr look-alike contest.
Goody
Dominoes is making a pizza 30% bigger than extra large. It’s called the “Get a pizza as big as your fat ass” special.
Sounds familiar
Did you see “The Sopranos” Tony Soprano gets worried that his mob thinks he is gone weak so Tony picks out a guy and beats him up for no reason; the episode is called; “Tony Mimics Bush’s Iraq Strategy.”
Since you asked:
I have this theory that Sienna Miller and Nicky Hilton and Naomi Watts and Nicole Richey and the Olsen twins and about ten other skinny blonde celebrities are all really the same person.
There is more than the usual amount of hypocrisy to go around on this immigration bill and the resultant protests. First you have the people protesting the fact that what they are currently doing illegally might be enforced and you have the conservatives crying the hackneyed “What is it about the word illegal that they don’t understand?” while their kitchen remodel is being completed by undocumented workers.
posted by Alex at
7:59 AM
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