Thursday, April 06, 2006

It is hard out here

They best get out my grill or they gonna get all kinds of played, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A lot of rain, is what I’m sayin’
Man it has been raining in Los Angeles. It’s been raining so much, today in Hollywood, production began on the movie “Brokeback Levee.”

Like LaFave
New age singer Yanni had his domestic battery charges dropped; the Florida prosecutor decided that Yanni’s name was too pretty to go to jail.

Yeah, right
Charges were dropped against ex- Minnesota Vikings QB Dante Culpepper during a sex boat cruise because Culpepper claimed he was playing a dice game all night. Naked strippers running around and Duante says he’s playing dice all night? Sounds like a lot of craps to me.

Ya Mon
“Brokeback Mountain” was banned in the Bahamas for depicting homosexual sex. The Bahamas will only allow “Brokeback Mountain” if they change the name to “They Be Jammin’”

Biggest Fear
The 2006 issue of “Your Prom” magazine asked “What is your biggest fear about the prom?” 60% said they worried their date wouldn’t show, and 30% feared their teacher wouldn’t put out.

10% feared getting Michael Jackson as a dance chaperone.  

A study reveals that barbequing is bad for your prostrate. How are these guys checking their grill’s temperature? “Here, let me unbuckle my pants and sit on that. (sssssst) Ouch, yep, she’s ready for the meat.”

This brings a whole new meaning to ruining a rump roast.

Big doings
Maryland beat Duke to capture the Women’s NCAA basketball title. In other equally significant news, my dogs, Wrigley and Kasey, got wet yesterday.

Since you asked
If “24” agent Jack Bauer had my wife’s cell phone, we would all be wearing turbans. His battery never goes out, Virg’s always does.

Since you asked, deuce
Listening to Blues Traveler as we sprecken as I am going to be playing one of their songs with a band; can I just say that listening to John Popper on Harmonica is the harmonica player’s equivalent of taking a shower next to Shaquille O’Neal?