What it is is what it do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Ouch
In Wyoming, rocker Tommy Lee was burned by the fireworks from his band Motley Cru. Lee wasn’t badly hurt, but he did say it was the first time he felt a burning sensation when not peeing.
Apologies Senior Lipe
One of the few things we know about Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers is that she has never been married and she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Good thing she’s a lawyer or she’d never get to screw anybody.
A sure sign
This bird flu is scary. You know what is one of the symptoms of bird flu? A sudden case of incontinence when you come near a statue.
That is correct, sir
The Chicago White Sox beat the LA Angels of Anaheim due to a bad dropped third strike call with two out at the bottom of the ninth. I don’t want to say that the umpire blew the call, but today the Angels are calling him Monica.
Doing what they do
Several Minnesota Vikings are in trouble because of a boat cruise that turned into a drunken sex party. The Vikings aren’t the only NFL team that is acting like their team name, the Chicago Bears have gone into hibernation and the Arizona Cardinals look like they have the bird flu.
Well, that’s something
Boy George was arrested for possession of cocaine. Did you see the picture of Boy George after his arrest? He’s bald, old-looking and bloated. The good news? They showed Boy George’s picture to Kate Moss and she swore off cocaine forever.
Boy George was arrested for possession of cocaine. Did you see the picture of Boy George after his arrest? Not good. The good news? He won the Elmer Fudd look-alike contest.
Uh, no, sir, that’s not what, oh forget it, A
It was awkward, when they asked President Bush what should be done about the avian flu, he said; “People will just have to stop drinking that expensive French avian water.”
How wet is it?
It is still raining in the northeast. In fact, in New York City, for an extra $20, the Times Square hookers will throw in a squeegee job.
It is still raining like crazy in the northeast. In fact, in New York City, when a tourist asks for directions, the locals have to stop and tread water to tell them to go screw themselves.
It is still raining like crazy in the northeast. In fact, the only reason New York and Boston aren’t flooded is because, during the playoffs, the Red Sox and the Yankees sucked so much.
Uh, no, sir, that’s not what, oh forget it, B
It was kind of embarrassing, when they asked President Bush about Supreme Court nominee Harriet Mier’s Evangelical beliefs, Bush said; “I think prison inmates should get Evangelical visits but only from their wives.”
Oh, we kid the president. Like I graduated from Yale with better marks than John Kerry?
The San Diego Zoo is holding a contest to name their baby panda. One of the most popular names they are considering is the Chinese name Bao Bai which means precious. The least popular name? The Chinese name Dum Dum which means: President Bush.
Jet Blue is offering a flight from New York to Boston for $25. That would be a good deal but the cab ride to New York’s LaGuardia airport costs a thousand bucks.
At least it isn’t really weird
The latest on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is that they are going to name their expectant baby Xenu after the galactic leader of Scientology. Apparently the name Screwed-Up-For-Life was already taken.
Ouch
In Wyoming, rocker Tommy Lee was burned by the fireworks from his band Motley Cru. Lee wasn’t badly hurt, but he did say it was the first time he felt a burning sensation when not peeing.
Apologies Senior Lipe
One of the few things we know about Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers is that she has never been married and she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Good thing she’s a lawyer or she’d never get to screw anybody.
A sure sign
This bird flu is scary. You know what is one of the symptoms of bird flu? A sudden case of incontinence when you come near a statue.
That is correct, sir
The Chicago White Sox beat the LA Angels of Anaheim due to a bad dropped third strike call with two out at the bottom of the ninth. I don’t want to say that the umpire blew the call, but today the Angels are calling him Monica.
Doing what they do
Several Minnesota Vikings are in trouble because of a boat cruise that turned into a drunken sex party. The Vikings aren’t the only NFL team that is acting like their team name, the Chicago Bears have gone into hibernation and the Arizona Cardinals look like they have the bird flu.
Well, that’s something
Boy George was arrested for possession of cocaine. Did you see the picture of Boy George after his arrest? He’s bald, old-looking and bloated. The good news? They showed Boy George’s picture to Kate Moss and she swore off cocaine forever.
Boy George was arrested for possession of cocaine. Did you see the picture of Boy George after his arrest? Not good. The good news? He won the Elmer Fudd look-alike contest.
Uh, no, sir, that’s not what, oh forget it, A
It was awkward, when they asked President Bush what should be done about the avian flu, he said; “People will just have to stop drinking that expensive French avian water.”
How wet is it?
It is still raining in the northeast. In fact, in New York City, for an extra $20, the Times Square hookers will throw in a squeegee job.
It is still raining like crazy in the northeast. In fact, in New York City, when a tourist asks for directions, the locals have to stop and tread water to tell them to go screw themselves.
It is still raining like crazy in the northeast. In fact, the only reason New York and Boston aren’t flooded is because, during the playoffs, the Red Sox and the Yankees sucked so much.
Uh, no, sir, that’s not what, oh forget it, B
It was kind of embarrassing, when they asked President Bush about Supreme Court nominee Harriet Mier’s Evangelical beliefs, Bush said; “I think prison inmates should get Evangelical visits but only from their wives.”
Oh, we kid the president. Like I graduated from Yale with better marks than John Kerry?
The San Diego Zoo is holding a contest to name their baby panda. One of the most popular names they are considering is the Chinese name Bao Bai which means precious. The least popular name? The Chinese name Dum Dum which means: President Bush.
Jet Blue is offering a flight from New York to Boston for $25. That would be a good deal but the cab ride to New York’s LaGuardia airport costs a thousand bucks.
At least it isn’t really weird
The latest on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is that they are going to name their expectant baby Xenu after the galactic leader of Scientology. Apparently the name Screwed-Up-For-Life was already taken.
posted by Alex at
6:45 AM
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