We jack ballin’ and play callin’ all up in this here this here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Where have we heard that before?
A British children’s author was kicked out a school lecture when he accused fellow author J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter character of being gay. Harry Potter denied being gay, in fact, he announced that he is in love with Katie Holmes.


Ouch
A woman is suing her doctor, because he tricked her into having sex by telling her that it would cure her back problems. You think she’s mad? You should see the guy he treated for hemorrhoids.

Eww
Tom Cruise and his fiancée, actress Katie Holmes, are expecting a baby. It was kind of awkward, however, today Michael Jackson asked Tom for his turkey baster back.

Just wait until Katie goes into labor and Tom tells her he doesn’t believe in pain killers and epidurals.

The couple said that, if it’s a boy, they are going to name the baby after the father: David Crosby.

Tom Cruise and his fiancée, actress Katie Holmes wedding is coming up soon. Tom is very excited, he plans to write his own wedding rant.

Odd
The weirdest thing happened to me. I stopped my car to take a picture of the Hollywood sign, and Lindsay Lohan crashed her Mercedes into me.

Might have guessed
This week USA Today published a list of the most dangerous areas in America for children to walk. The worst? Walking in front of the Neverland Ranch.

Uh, no, Jessica, that’s not, oh forget it
Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have reportedly filed for a divorce. When asked if there was any chance of a reconciliation, Jessica replied; “No, I’ve never believed in plastic surgery.”

Dr. Phil of it
Not a winnerDr. Phil being sued by three people who claim that his diet plan is a waste of money and doesn’t work. In addition, many people are not exactly thrilled with Dr. Phil’s hair care program.