Thursday, June 30, 2005

You want drama? Oh yeah, we got the drama up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Spain has legalized gay marriage; to mark the occasion, the city of Pamplona has announced it is replacing “The running of the bulls” with “The running of the Shitzu’s.”

Anger issues
Texas Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers shoved two camera men yesterday ; a couple of weeks earlier, Rogers punched a water cooler and broke his little finger. He can’t get away with that, just who does this guy think he is, Russell Crowe?

Five finger discount
Russian President Vladimir Putin walked off with Patriots owner Robert Kraft's diamond-encrusted Super Bowl ring. Apparently, Putin had been upset that Kraft had cheated on him with a room service waitress.

Apparently this isn’t a first, allegedly the Russian President has been freely taking things and “Putin” stuff in his pocket for a while.

This also explains the missing silverware and ash treys at the White House.

Apparently Putin mistakenly thought that Kraft had offered him the ring, so he took it; the same mistake used to happen all the time at the White House when Bill Clinton would meet somebody’s wife.

Sounds familiar
Jenny McCarthy will host a new show on “E” titled “Party At the Palms.” Or, as a lot of guys call, “Party at the Palms,”a new issue of Playboy magazine.

Excited about the Fourth of July? It was kind of awkward when they asked President Bush what he was doing for the Fourth of July, Bush said; “I’m not sure, what’s the date of that holiday?”

Back to work
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner got married. The couple plans to take some time for their honeymoon, but then Ben has to hurry back to resume making truly awful movies.

Help a brother out, Tom
It’s been kind of a slow news day. To show you, today, in fact, Tom Cruise didn’t even say or do one thing that was really, really creepy.