Let us not rush to judgment, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

What are the odds?
A family in Arkansas is expecting their 16th child. And here is the weirdest part: none of the children were fathered by Bill Clinton.

Stiff competition
A Japanese man set the world record for the 95-year-old 100 meter dash. He won the race easily, all the other contestants in the 95-99-year-old division were disqualified after they all tested positive for Viagra.


How about “Stud’s Quarterly”?
You know what magazine they say women find the most impressive in a man’s bathroom? “Time” magazine. Really? I’m not so sure. When I was single that issue of “Candidates for Penis Reduction Surgery Monthly” came in handy.


Good news, bad news
The good news is that the Utah Boy Scout that was lost for four days, Brennan Hawkins, is going to be fine; the bad news? He might lose his Compass reading merit badge.

It was really scary for the kid; Hawkins was terrified that Michael Jackson might find him first.

Pricey
You know how on Apple’s iTunes you can buy a song for 99 cents? I just bought an iTunes compilation album: all the “American Idol” contestants that have had sex with Paula Abdul. Cost me $300 bucks.

Enough is enough
Iowa is going to do away with awarding the title of Pork Queen. They got tired of giving the Pork Queen title every year to Paris Hilton.

Going batty
In less than two months over 11 people in Brazil have been killed by vampire bats. These bats suck out blood until the victim’s are dead. In fact, the only bats that suck more are the Dodger’s.