Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Snaps it back and hold, baby one more time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

That bored, eh?
Canada is all set to approve gay marriage. Gay marriage has already been approved in Belgium and in the Netherlands. Oddly, gay marriage has not been approved in Lichtenstein.

This is great news for all the gay people in Canada. All seven of them.

Oh, the horror
“American Idol” dirt bag Corey Clark, who wrote that he slept with Paula Abdul, was arrested for a plate throwing food fight with his business manager, Laura Kathleen Troy. The fight started when Troy suddenly screamed in horror; “Oh my lord, I am Corey Clark’s business manager.”

This plate throwing incident could come back to haunt Clark when he goes for his next big gig: bus boy at Denny’s.

Get it?
An Italian newspaper reports that Adolf Hitler was the inventor of the blow-up sex doll to keep German soldiers away from brothels and sexual diseases. That’s ironic. Prior to that, Hitler was credited with stopping Germany’s inflation.

Enough with this guy
Tom Cruise told a German newspaper that he believes there are space aliens. For once, I have to agree with Tom, not only do I now believe there are space aliens, but I am fairly positive that Tom Cruise is one of them.

Tom Cruise told a German newspaper that he believes there are space aliens. For someone who doesn’t approve of anti-depression drugs, Cruise sure is pushing his publicist to use them.

Give them that
Oprah Winfrey was refused entry to the exclusive Hermes store in Paris. Say what you want about the French, at least their rudeness at Americans isn’t biased towards the rich and famous.

Oprah was upset until she remembered that, from that moment on, she will still be Oprah and they will still have to be the French.

Baked big apple
It has been hot and muggy in New York. It is so hot, to keep cool, Donald Trump has taken to storing his toupees overnight in the freezer.

It is so hot and muggy in New York, the Mets are staying in the cellar of their division because it’s so cool down there.

What was I thinking?
President Bush gave his speech and said the war in Iraq is going pretty well. Yeah, apparently I’ve been following the wrong war. Silly me.

Of course, remember, this is a guy who says he won all of the Presidential debates.

Since you asked:

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