We gonna get our silly on up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
How . . . hot . . . sis . . . you’ve got the idea
Man, it has been hot here this year. I’ve been sweating like a guy going in an airplane bathroom right after Michael Moore.
Sounds familiar
*John Kerry gave a pep talk to the Mansfield, Ohio high school football team that promptly went out and lost 34-7. Kerry told them to go out there and win one for the Flipper.
Criminal B.S.
*Crime is at a 30 year low. Well, except at CBS.
It appears the supposed 1970’s documents on President Bush’s National Guard CBS aired may have been produced on a current version of Microsoft’s Word software. In addition, CBS is beginning to doubt the validity of its DVD recording of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
On the bright side
*Texas Ranger reliever Frank Francisco was arrested after throwing a chair at the Oakland fans at an A’s game. The good news for Francisco is that he will pick up a lucrative endorsement deal from Ikea.
In addition to assault chargers, Francisco was accused of imitating Bobby Knight.
Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain
*To launch her “Wildest Dreams Come True” theme, Oprah Winfrey gave everyone in her entire audience a car. 276 cars. And to continue her “Wildest Dreams Come True” today Oprah gave Dick Cheney a heart, the French courage and President Bush a brain.
That sounds about right
*President Bush spoke to a National Guard convention at Las Vegas. Bush told the National Guard members to serve as he had, so they immediately left the speech to go drink, gamble and chase hookers.
Boring
*Anyone see NBC’s new show “LAX”? It was a little slow. It shows the cast taking twenty minutes just make it through security.
Now that is excited
*The Chicago Cubs won a big 12-inning game 3-2 against the Pittsburgh Pirates on Corey Patterson’s walk-off second home run. One Cubs fan was so excited, he gave Oprah Winfrey a car.
Misery 2
*Bill Clinton is back home under Hillary’s care. Why does this make me think of the expression: payback is a bitch? “Oh, you’d like some chicken soup? Why don’t you get one of your little whores to go get it for you.”
Saw this one coming
*Marion Berry is making a coming back, he is going to run for a Washington D.C. city council seat. He should win, as we all know, Barry is a crack politician.
Good news bad news kinda thang
John Kerry is slipping in the polls. The good news for Kerry is that a smart political figure says Kerry’s campaign is going to be fine; the bad news is that political figure is Howard Dean.
How . . . hot . . . sis . . . you’ve got the idea
Man, it has been hot here this year. I’ve been sweating like a guy going in an airplane bathroom right after Michael Moore.
Sounds familiar
*John Kerry gave a pep talk to the Mansfield, Ohio high school football team that promptly went out and lost 34-7. Kerry told them to go out there and win one for the Flipper.
Criminal B.S.
*Crime is at a 30 year low. Well, except at CBS.
It appears the supposed 1970’s documents on President Bush’s National Guard CBS aired may have been produced on a current version of Microsoft’s Word software. In addition, CBS is beginning to doubt the validity of its DVD recording of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
On the bright side
*Texas Ranger reliever Frank Francisco was arrested after throwing a chair at the Oakland fans at an A’s game. The good news for Francisco is that he will pick up a lucrative endorsement deal from Ikea.
In addition to assault chargers, Francisco was accused of imitating Bobby Knight.
Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain
*To launch her “Wildest Dreams Come True” theme, Oprah Winfrey gave everyone in her entire audience a car. 276 cars. And to continue her “Wildest Dreams Come True” today Oprah gave Dick Cheney a heart, the French courage and President Bush a brain.
That sounds about right
*President Bush spoke to a National Guard convention at Las Vegas. Bush told the National Guard members to serve as he had, so they immediately left the speech to go drink, gamble and chase hookers.
Boring
*Anyone see NBC’s new show “LAX”? It was a little slow. It shows the cast taking twenty minutes just make it through security.
Now that is excited
*The Chicago Cubs won a big 12-inning game 3-2 against the Pittsburgh Pirates on Corey Patterson’s walk-off second home run. One Cubs fan was so excited, he gave Oprah Winfrey a car.
Misery 2
*Bill Clinton is back home under Hillary’s care. Why does this make me think of the expression: payback is a bitch? “Oh, you’d like some chicken soup? Why don’t you get one of your little whores to go get it for you.”
Saw this one coming
*Marion Berry is making a coming back, he is going to run for a Washington D.C. city council seat. He should win, as we all know, Barry is a crack politician.
Good news bad news kinda thang
John Kerry is slipping in the polls. The good news for Kerry is that a smart political figure says Kerry’s campaign is going to be fine; the bad news is that political figure is Howard Dean.
posted by Alex at
4:55 PM
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