Unless you're young and black, and or really cool, please do not apply izzle on anything. Boy, do I agrizzle with thatizzle my pizzles, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
He’s simply just so fierce in those things
*A group of gay Republicans say they’re angry at President Bush because he wants to ban gay marriage. They did say, however, that they won’t stay mad at President Bush on account of how cute he looks in his little jogging shorts.
Wasted no time
*At the Republican convention, Arnold Schwarzenegger told the Republican convention that he wanted every American to have the same chance he did. After hearing this, Bill Clinton groped a starlet.
Bush in the big City
*President Bush has been enjoying his stay in New York City. Today President Bush plans to visit Staten Island. When asked if he was going to take the Staten Island Ferry, Bush said; “Sure, he can come along, I just don’t think he should get married.”
President Bush is a little naïve for New York City. Today, after walking around the Village, Bush asked; “Why do all them handsome young fellas wear those black leather pants? The ladies must really go for that look.”
*Today President Bush said he has enjoyed his stay in New York City, but he still can’t figure out where this Manhattan place is supposed to be.
Ring of freedom
Kobe Bryant was so excited that his case was dropped, today he had three more Lakers traded away just for fun.
They had no choice but to drop the case against Kobe Bryant; in trying to find a jury of his peers they realized that all of Kobe’s peers have been traded away.
The Donald
*Donald Trump has an Office Depot ad on the radio. Does this guy really need to do Office Depot ads? What’s next? A Donald Trump commercial for Super Cuts?
A zillion starving unemployed actors in Hollywood and the Office Depot spot goes to Donald Trump? What’s next, a television series for Bill Gates called “The Last Geek Standing”?
To go, please
*A survey reveals that 14% admit to having had sex on the job. Think about that the next time you’re eating your Happy Meal.
No choice
*A disturbing report from the Homeland Security Department revealed there were 753 incidents of bad conduct by air marshals, including drinking, drugs and losing their weapons. Officials had no choice but to take those offending air marshals and turn them into C.I.A. agents.
Take out an ad
John Kerry took a lot of shots from the Republican convention; however, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth took out an ad that said Kerry didn’t take any shots at the convention at all.
Nor was it a problem at the Games in Korea
Among the unfounded worries about the Games, says Mark Whicker of the Orange County (Calif.) Register, was that Athens would be “infested with thousands of stray dogs.’’ One thing we know for sure, stray dogs won’t be a problem at the Beijing games.
It’s a puzzlement
With the onset of the civil suit by Kobe Bryant’s accuser, it has led many skeptics to believe that Kobe’s alleged victim was, in fact, a shameless gold digger. That’s what’s so confusing, why would Kobe mess with her when he has a perfectly good shameless gold digger waiting at home?
Since you asked:
Comedian Richard Jeni had a joke about a fan complaining about the insensitivity of his joke making fun of Asians that eat dogs.
“How can you insult another people’s culture?” she asked. Jeni's response?
“Because it’s wrong, that’s why. You don’t eat anything that can catch and return a Frisbee. You could throw a Frisbee at a cow all day and nothing will happen. If it can’t catch a Frisbee, it’s OK to eat.”
And I am in agreeance on that, as political genius and anti-war commenter and Limp Bizkit front man Fred Durst once said at the Grammy Awards.
My rule? Do not eat anything that is as smart, or smarter than a horse. Chickens? Dumber than rocks. Fry away. Cows? Stupid, order a hamburger. Fish? Too stupid to measure, kind of like Paris Hilton, so eat away. The fish, I mean.
Ahh, but what about pigs? Some say they are as smart as dogs. Oh really? Let’s see about that. One gets to eat table scraps and sleeps on the couch; the other eats slop and rolls in the mud and sleeps outside. Do you really still think pigs are smarter than dogs? Besides, as those of us who have seen HBO’s series “Deadwood” know all to well, pigs eat people, so, it’s everyone for themselves. Ham on rye here I come.
Eating dogs is wrong. Period. Any culture that does eat dogs is about as wrong and backward as, oh, say a culture that won’t eat pigs, but will wipe themselves with their bare hand. Even Fred Durst would be in agreeance on that. Besides, that other culture I just mentioned is always trying to blow people to Bolivian, as Mike Tyson once put it so well.
Not that it will change my opinion, but let me know what you think, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Lexkase@san.rr.com
He’s simply just so fierce in those things
*A group of gay Republicans say they’re angry at President Bush because he wants to ban gay marriage. They did say, however, that they won’t stay mad at President Bush on account of how cute he looks in his little jogging shorts.
Wasted no time
*At the Republican convention, Arnold Schwarzenegger told the Republican convention that he wanted every American to have the same chance he did. After hearing this, Bill Clinton groped a starlet.
Bush in the big City
*President Bush has been enjoying his stay in New York City. Today President Bush plans to visit Staten Island. When asked if he was going to take the Staten Island Ferry, Bush said; “Sure, he can come along, I just don’t think he should get married.”
President Bush is a little naïve for New York City. Today, after walking around the Village, Bush asked; “Why do all them handsome young fellas wear those black leather pants? The ladies must really go for that look.”
*Today President Bush said he has enjoyed his stay in New York City, but he still can’t figure out where this Manhattan place is supposed to be.
Ring of freedom
Kobe Bryant was so excited that his case was dropped, today he had three more Lakers traded away just for fun.
They had no choice but to drop the case against Kobe Bryant; in trying to find a jury of his peers they realized that all of Kobe’s peers have been traded away.
The Donald
*Donald Trump has an Office Depot ad on the radio. Does this guy really need to do Office Depot ads? What’s next? A Donald Trump commercial for Super Cuts?
A zillion starving unemployed actors in Hollywood and the Office Depot spot goes to Donald Trump? What’s next, a television series for Bill Gates called “The Last Geek Standing”?
To go, please
*A survey reveals that 14% admit to having had sex on the job. Think about that the next time you’re eating your Happy Meal.
No choice
*A disturbing report from the Homeland Security Department revealed there were 753 incidents of bad conduct by air marshals, including drinking, drugs and losing their weapons. Officials had no choice but to take those offending air marshals and turn them into C.I.A. agents.
Take out an ad
John Kerry took a lot of shots from the Republican convention; however, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth took out an ad that said Kerry didn’t take any shots at the convention at all.
Nor was it a problem at the Games in Korea
Among the unfounded worries about the Games, says Mark Whicker of the Orange County (Calif.) Register, was that Athens would be “infested with thousands of stray dogs.’’ One thing we know for sure, stray dogs won’t be a problem at the Beijing games.
It’s a puzzlement
With the onset of the civil suit by Kobe Bryant’s accuser, it has led many skeptics to believe that Kobe’s alleged victim was, in fact, a shameless gold digger. That’s what’s so confusing, why would Kobe mess with her when he has a perfectly good shameless gold digger waiting at home?
Since you asked:
Comedian Richard Jeni had a joke about a fan complaining about the insensitivity of his joke making fun of Asians that eat dogs.
“How can you insult another people’s culture?” she asked. Jeni's response?
“Because it’s wrong, that’s why. You don’t eat anything that can catch and return a Frisbee. You could throw a Frisbee at a cow all day and nothing will happen. If it can’t catch a Frisbee, it’s OK to eat.”
And I am in agreeance on that, as political genius and anti-war commenter and Limp Bizkit front man Fred Durst once said at the Grammy Awards.
My rule? Do not eat anything that is as smart, or smarter than a horse. Chickens? Dumber than rocks. Fry away. Cows? Stupid, order a hamburger. Fish? Too stupid to measure, kind of like Paris Hilton, so eat away. The fish, I mean.
Ahh, but what about pigs? Some say they are as smart as dogs. Oh really? Let’s see about that. One gets to eat table scraps and sleeps on the couch; the other eats slop and rolls in the mud and sleeps outside. Do you really still think pigs are smarter than dogs? Besides, as those of us who have seen HBO’s series “Deadwood” know all to well, pigs eat people, so, it’s everyone for themselves. Ham on rye here I come.
Eating dogs is wrong. Period. Any culture that does eat dogs is about as wrong and backward as, oh, say a culture that won’t eat pigs, but will wipe themselves with their bare hand. Even Fred Durst would be in agreeance on that. Besides, that other culture I just mentioned is always trying to blow people to Bolivian, as Mike Tyson once put it so well.
Not that it will change my opinion, but let me know what you think, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Lexkase@san.rr.com
posted by Alex at
11:41 AM
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