Friday, September 24, 2004

This really just in:

Yusuf Islam, Cat Stevens, is demanding an inquiry as to why he was kicked out of the U.S. I agree, I want an inquiry as to why we didn’t also kick out Celine Dion and Kenny G.

This just in:

Iraqi Prime Minister Allawi says Iraq is stable enough to hold elections as scheduled; that old expression must be true: every time god shuts a door, he opens a window. Man, God’s air-conditioning bills must be atrocious.

Check it, Slats and Nuggies, all the big names in comedy all up in this right here, (Sniff, teeth-suck, inhale, stretch, and groan exhale of smugness),0,7308003.story?coll=ny-opinion-archive

Give up one up high for that right there, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It’s gone too far now
*Another former celebrity was kicked off a flight; they red-flagged “Quick Draw” McGraw for his Muslim name al-Kabong.

The same thing
*They have established the ground rules for the upcoming presidential debates; you cannot approach your opponent and you cannot touch your opponent. It’s the same rules that are in Bill and Hillary Clinton’s bedroom.

I’m inviting everyone but you, so there
*Rumor has it that Michael Jordan wants to play for the Miami Heat, but Shaquille O’Neal doesn’t want him, just like Kobe Bryant didn’t want Shaq – and nearly every other Laker - in Los Angeles. Exactly when did the NBA turn into a seventh grade girl’s slumber party?

Not to mention any names, but their initials are Wrigley and Kasey
*The British Medical Journal says that dogs can sniff-out serious diseases. If that’s true than I knew a couple of dogs around here that are born proctologists.

Since you asked:
*Did the steaks ala Lex last night. Not to brag, but oh my goodness. The best part - next to the actual eating – is the way the house smells during and after. Between caramelizing the onions, the smoking hickory chips, the oven-roasted garlic, the sautéed mushrooms, the sizzling grilled steaks, the candles, our house smells like a great Chicago or New York steak and chop house. (Let me tell you, I am one lottery ticket away from opening “Lex’s Blues and Comedy Bar and Grill.” Rocking blues bands, stand up comedians and awesome bar food) Also had a good, inexpensive Cabernet while enjoying the Cubs continue their amazing late season run. (In Dusty we trusty)

Again, it’s not a Cannes film festival super-model-ridden champagne soaked naked hot tub party, but it ain’t bad.

This morning, we are at level blue.