Saturday, September 25, 2004

Saturday morning caffeine fueled rant
Yesterday I picked up my daughter from First Grade. Of course I asked the requisite; "What did you do in school today, Ann Caroline?" She dead panned: "I chased boys and I went to science."

Pray for me, Slats and Nuggies, pray for me.

You really won't care about this
Great workout yesterday. Lots of that new cool funky ball balance Plyometrics stuff. Take a ten -or twelve - pound ball, stand like you are going to shoot a free throw, then bending down - with a straight back - touch it to the floor, bring it up, and then volleyball/three point shot straight up, catch it and bring it back to the floor. One. Do 20. By then the legs give out, then do ten more just throwing it up and catching it without touching the floor. Arms and legs will be totally spent. Do another set. You are now one tired and well-balanced worked out Gaucho or Gauchoette.

The cheapest and best piece of exercise gear? A jump rope. Try and do 300 in a row. It ain't easy. Plus it bridges the gap in workouts between aerobic and muscle building, i.e. lifting or calisthenics. Also crunches on the big Swiss exercise ball. Swear to god, I am losing my Tony Soprano - the high gut.

How hilarious is it that, 30 years ago, when there was no such thing as sports medicine or fitness experts, the moldy, fuddy-duddy crew-cut gym teachers had us do wind sprints, push ups, pull ups, sit ups and jumping jacks? And some of the really old Neanderthal gym teachers actually had us throw an archaic weighted medicine ball.

Then the "experts" started telling us, no, no, no we need low level aerobics. By maintaining a low to moderate heart rate, you could assure yourself the most calories and fat burned because you can go longer. And remember those stupid Nautilus machines? Those machines went to great lengths to assure that the range of motion that you worked out with was so restricted it could never be replicated in real life, especially in sports, rendering it almost totally useless.

Guess what? Now they - the experts- say that anaerobic exercise, while more intense and not lasting as long as moderate aerobics, actually increases your metabolism in the long run, so that, at the end of the day, it is much more efficient at burning fat than, well, the long run, i.e. slow, steady exercise. And as far as muscle conditioning? It turns out that using your own body weight and by performing bounding/jumping/ pushing/pulling/throwing exercises replicates how you actually move while playing sports and is much more effective as well as safer.

In short, after thirty years of intense research and vast medical advances, they've figured out the best type of exercise is called Plyometrics: i.e., wind sprints, push ups, pull ups, sit ups and jumping jacks and, of course, throwing a weighted ball.

Can I get a "the more things change, the more they stay the same" one time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


How rich is he?
Forbes magazine announced that, once again, Bill Gates is the richest man in the world at 48 billion. How rich is Gates? Today Gates gave 276 Pontiacs to Oprah.

If anyone can do it, Oliver can
Oliver Stones epic “Alexander” is opening. It is going to be fascinating to see how Oliver Stone connects the 356 B.C. King of Macedonia, Alexander the Great, to the vast conspiracies by the evil, American military industrial complex.

Since you asked, Saturday
There is some loose talk flying around that the folks at Outback Steakhouse can grill a mean steak. Well, tonight, we will see, my Slats and Nuggies, we will see. They had better step up and show me some serious grilling game. Could it be better than a USDA prime, rib-eye marinated in Jim Beam marinade*, seared and garlic smoked medium rare with melted roasted garlic/mustard/steak sauce butter smothered in caramelized onions? That is one high bar to jump over, Slats and Nuggies, one high bar.


Cooking tips, exercise advice, jokes, canine stories. Is there anything you can't find here at a "A Little Bit Bad"? Well, besides quality writing . . .