Wednesday, June 09, 2004

So now, that’s how we roll up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Anyone buy this?
A University of Chicago study claims there is no connection between sex and money. I don’t know if I buy that. There sure as hell is a connection between no money and no sex. The line: “Hey gorgeous, how about coming over to my refrigerator cardboard box” has never worked.

Just try and take a hot date to a soup kitchen and see how that works out for you.

Oh sure, there is no connection between sex and money. All of those super models are just magically attracted to Donald Trump's wonderful hair. Can I get a break one time?

This much we know
*Kobe Bryant made an unbelievable three point shot to put the Lakers in overtime. Between the playoffs and the details of his case, if there is one thing we have learned about Kobe it’s that the man can make a come-from-behind shot.

Might be true, or . . .
*The big rumor is that Jennifer Lopez is pregnant. J. Lo might be pregnant. She has this glow about her. Of course that could be the Sun reflecting off of her butt.

Beavis and Bushhead
Venus makes a rare appearance in front of the Sun. When informed, President Bush started giggling uncontrollably and snickered; “Heh, heh, Venus rhymes with penis. Heh.”

Getting antsy
*J. Lo has been married for four days. People who attended the wedding are getting nervous; they may not get their wedding presents back this time.

We deserve a break today
*In Hillsboro, North Carolina, a man drove through the McDonald’s drive-through naked. When the police asked for a description of the naked man, the McDonald’s cashier said all she could remember was that, when she saw him, the term Super-Size did not spring to mind.