Thursday, June 03, 2004

Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It’s so over
*The NBA finals are set. The Los Angeles Lakers against the Detroit Pistons. For those more familiar with “American Idol” than the NBA, think Fantasia Barrino vs. William Hung.

I don’t want to say the Pistons don’t stand any chance against the Lakers, but Smarty Jones has a better chance of winning next year’s Indy 500.

Use your listening ears, France
*In Paris, President George W. Bush said he was not angry with France over its refusal to back the U.S.-led war in Iraq. Bush sounds like a parent: “We aren’t angry, France, just very disappointed.”

Bush then put the entire country of France in a time-out.

Oh, that’s unfortunate
*There was an embarrassing moment at the White House today. When asked why he accepted CIA director George Tenet’s resignation, President Bush replied; “Accept his Resignation? No, I couldn’t take his car now. I just told the guy to quit.”

*President Bush announced that CIA Director George J. Tenet has resigned. Bush said Tenet resigned for personal reasons. Yeah, the personal reasons is that Bush personally told him to resign.

Say it ain’t so
*The highly anticipated "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," opens this weekend. I’m going to hope and assume that Azkaban is not a prison in Iraq. That’s the last thing we need, Harry Potter in trouble for abusing Iraqi prisoners.

Since you asked:
What is your at-bat song, Slats and Nuggies? You know that song snippet they play when a major leaguer comes to bat? What is yours? Mine? The Rolling Stones’ “Can’t You Hear Me Knockin.’” No, you can’t have it.

Here are a list of some famous folks would-be at bat songs:

President Bush: “Don’t Know Much About History”

John Kerry: “Both Sides Now”

Billy Joel: "I can't drive 55"

Martha Stewart: “Chain Gang”

J. Lo:. “The Wedding Song”

Richard Simmons “The Bitch is Back”

Paris Hilton: “Whole Lotta Love”

Courtney Love: “Crazy”

And of course:

Michael Jackson: “Boy Crazy”