Monday, May 24, 2004

Can I get a righteous “For Shizzle,” one time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


Like he needed this now
President Bush fell off his bicycle at his ranch. He’s OK. He suffered some abrasions to his face. The ironic twist? Bush’s face is so scratched up, he may have to wear a bag over his head.

Last summer Bush fell off a Segway scooter, now a bicycle. Bush may want to stick to riding on the back of what he’s used to: Vice President Dick Cheney.

This will teach Bush not to try and ride a bike and eat a pretzel at the same time.

(Kerry jokes owed will be forthcoming)

Bush passed out and fell eating a pretzel, he fell off a Segway scooter, and now he fell off of his bicycle. When did Bush start channeling President Gerald Ford?

Start off easy and work up to it
*A.P. reported that Michael Jordan wants to buy an NBA team. Owning an NBA team isn’t easy, Jordan may want to first buy the Chicago Bulls, and then work up to a real NBA team.

You know it will happen
Sadly, a roof collapsed at the Paris airport. French officials are not sure what caused this tragedy, but they are fairly certain they will eventually be able to blame it on the U.S.

Since you asked:
Our youngest yellow lab, Wrigley, has been relegated to our gated family room – and then only under supervision - due to past incidents that would have landed a vandal in prison. Being the forgiving type that I am, I have been pushing lately for an all-access house pass for Wrigley, but my wife, Virginia, is four-square against it.

Yesterday, I decide, for giggles, to let both dogs, Wrigley and Kasey, upstairs to roam free to prove their good behavior merits additional freedom. As usual, Kasey was fine. Wrigley runs right into our bedroom and begins sniffing around.

No sooner than the words; “See Virg, Wrigley is fine” are out of my mouth then Wrigley hoists his back leg above a pile of Virg’s laundry bundled on floor and, that's right, he pees right on it.

So much for my future as an animal behavior expert. Oh yeah, I'm a regular dog-whisperer, I am.