We all righteous like that all up this here Hizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Thank you, Santa
*How about that Saddam Hussein surrender? Saddam was filthy, haggard, un-shaven, crawling out of a dank rat hole. Not exactly General Robert E. Lee on his white horse nobly handing over his sword at Appomattox, now was it?

Not clear on the concept
*I’m not sure Saddam Hussein gets the whole capture concept; today, while watching daytime TV in his cell, Saddam ordered the jailing and torture of Dr. Phil.

*I’m not sure Saddam Hussein gets the whole capture concept; while watching TV in his cell, Saddam ordered Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie stoned to death.


Sound familiar?
*Saddam was arrested with a beard and big bag of cash. All that was missing was A.C. Cowling driving a slow moving white Bronco.

Nice move
*When he was arrested, Saddam Hussein said he was ready to negotiate. That’s like Martha Stewart trying to get out of insider trading charges by offering the Feds a fruitcake.

Apparently Saddam isn’t a believer of that Only-Negotiate-from-a-position-of-Strength concept. What was he going to offer? His freedom for a Seven-Up and a Mars bar?

No kidding?
*During the celebration of the arrest of Saddam Hussein, one soldier pulled out a cell phone he had hidden in Saddam’s beard and called his Mom.

*During a touchdown celebration against the New York Giants, New Orleans Saints Joe Horn pulled out a cell phone he had hidden in the goal post pad and called his Mom. The good news? Horn’s Mom told him to stop being such a jackass showboat and then she hung up on him.

Awfully thoughtful girl
*Winona Ryder was praised on her probation by the judge; Winona was so appreciative, she plans to steal the judge a nice thank you present.

Always wanted to know
*According to the "New York Times”, Woody Allen is close to making a deal to write his memoirs. I’m looking forward to the chapter that explains how, Woody, a skinny little old nerd, always ends up with young hot babes in all his movies.