We gonna play that bird like it ain’t never been played, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Safety tip
*The day before Thanksgiving is the busiest bar day of the year. Yep, so if you are driving to a bar, please be careful. Because so is Glen Cambell, Nick Nolte, Wynona and Diana Ross.
We ain’t here to start no scuffle…
Former Chicago Bear quarterback Jim McMahon was arrested after his Breathalyzer test registered over three times the legal Florida limit. They suspected McMahon was drunk when they asked him to walk the yellow line and instead he did the Super Bowl Shuffle.
Upon hearing about McMahon’s three times legal limit test result, Glen Cambell said; “I wanna party with that Dude.”
Did you see that Glen Cambell mug shot? I wasn’t sure if it was Glen Cambell or the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Dash it all
*More tension between the U.S. and Great Britain. The Royal family claimed President Bush’s three helicopters ruined the grass and garden at Buckingham Palace. Not only that, but the propellers destroyed Prince Charles’ topiary rendition of Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.”
Aren’t we all?
*They are going to release 40 detainees from Camp X-Ray. A spokesman for the detainees say they are looking forward to getting out and taking their turn having video sex with Paris Hilton.
Finger lickin’ and heart-stop-tickin good
*KFC is being criticized for claiming in its ads that fried chicken is good for you. In response, a KFC spokesperson said they stand by their statement that fried chicken is good for you, then he excused himself for his annual quintuple by-pass surgery.
If fried chicken is so good for you, how come KFC’s 12-piece bucket comes with a coupon for 10% off your next heart defibrillator application?
New meaning to kissing your sister
*It was ruled that this year’s President’s Cup golf challenge would have no winners. It would be a tie between the U.S., and the International team and Rosie O’Donnell and her former publisher.
Somewhere baseball commissioner Bud Selig is smiling.
Not a lawyer but I play one on TV
*From an outsider’s perspective, it’s not looking good for Michael Jackson. If I was his attorney I would either try and plead insanity or a sudden bout of devout Catholicism.
That’s right, if I was Michael Jackson’s attorney, I would have no choice but to pull the Priest card.
Since you asked:
Did you see the mug shot of the Al Qeuda member they just caught who planned the attack on the USS Cole? Apparently Al Quida is Arabic for really ugly mad guys. These al Queda guys are so ugly they would have to take ugly pills to get less ugly. And yes, I know I spelled al Qiuda four different ways. Gosh, I hope that doesn’t upset them . . .
Safety tip
*The day before Thanksgiving is the busiest bar day of the year. Yep, so if you are driving to a bar, please be careful. Because so is Glen Cambell, Nick Nolte, Wynona and Diana Ross.
We ain’t here to start no scuffle…
Former Chicago Bear quarterback Jim McMahon was arrested after his Breathalyzer test registered over three times the legal Florida limit. They suspected McMahon was drunk when they asked him to walk the yellow line and instead he did the Super Bowl Shuffle.
Upon hearing about McMahon’s three times legal limit test result, Glen Cambell said; “I wanna party with that Dude.”
Did you see that Glen Cambell mug shot? I wasn’t sure if it was Glen Cambell or the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Dash it all
*More tension between the U.S. and Great Britain. The Royal family claimed President Bush’s three helicopters ruined the grass and garden at Buckingham Palace. Not only that, but the propellers destroyed Prince Charles’ topiary rendition of Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.”
Aren’t we all?
*They are going to release 40 detainees from Camp X-Ray. A spokesman for the detainees say they are looking forward to getting out and taking their turn having video sex with Paris Hilton.
Finger lickin’ and heart-stop-tickin good
*KFC is being criticized for claiming in its ads that fried chicken is good for you. In response, a KFC spokesperson said they stand by their statement that fried chicken is good for you, then he excused himself for his annual quintuple by-pass surgery.
If fried chicken is so good for you, how come KFC’s 12-piece bucket comes with a coupon for 10% off your next heart defibrillator application?
New meaning to kissing your sister
*It was ruled that this year’s President’s Cup golf challenge would have no winners. It would be a tie between the U.S., and the International team and Rosie O’Donnell and her former publisher.
Somewhere baseball commissioner Bud Selig is smiling.
Not a lawyer but I play one on TV
*From an outsider’s perspective, it’s not looking good for Michael Jackson. If I was his attorney I would either try and plead insanity or a sudden bout of devout Catholicism.
That’s right, if I was Michael Jackson’s attorney, I would have no choice but to pull the Priest card.
Since you asked:
Did you see the mug shot of the Al Qeuda member they just caught who planned the attack on the USS Cole? Apparently Al Quida is Arabic for really ugly mad guys. These al Queda guys are so ugly they would have to take ugly pills to get less ugly. And yes, I know I spelled al Qiuda four different ways. Gosh, I hope that doesn’t upset them . . .
posted by Alex at
11:21 AM
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