We all about the comedy up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
You can’t just beat it
*According to the L.A. Times, Michael Jackson owes $200 million. Turns out he doesn’t have a nose for business either.
Admit it day
*It’s December 1st. Today is the day you officially have to admit you’re not going to lose the weight you promised to lose for your New Year’s resolution.
One or the other
*Tiger Woods’ fiancé was reportedly seen sporting a huge rock on her finger; so either she is engaged to Tiger Woods, or Kobe Bryant cheated on her too.
Good advice
*Britney Spears new CD is #1 but Michael Jackson’s greatest hits debuted at # 10. Let this be a lesson, if you’re about to release a CD, kiss Madonna, not a kid.
Good luck on that
*A British study claims that exercise is as addictive as booze, drugs or tobacco. Apparently exercise triggers a high in the brain that rivals anything else. Upon hearing this, Rush Limbaugh announced he would now begin training for the Olympic Decathlon.
Now that is sick
*Dozens of passengers came down with a stomach illness during an eight-day cruise out of Florida on the Carnival Cruise Lines ship. People haven’t been getting this sick on a Cruise Ship since Kathy Lee Gifford used to sing on them.
These people were sicker to their stomachs than the Michael Jackson jury will be after hearing the evidence.
How dumb is she?
*In her new TV show, critics say Paris Hilton appears even dumber than Jessica Simpson. For those keeping score, dumber than Jessica Simpson puts Paris somewhere between dumber than Anna Nicole Smith and smarter than a carp.
Shrewd buying
*There was a riot in Florida, one woman got knocked out, when a Walmart put their DVD’s on sale for $19.95. $19.95? I’m gonna wait until they pay me to buy a DVD.
Hut, hut, hike
*In his “Sixty Minutes” interview, All Pro linebacker Lawrence Taylor admitted that, the night before the game, he used to send hookers to his opposition to gain an advantage. Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton challenged Taylor to a game of touch football.
Just got it
*I just figured out what Michael Jackson’s mug shot reminds me of: Jack Nicholson’s Joker after a year-long-fast.
You can’t just beat it
*According to the L.A. Times, Michael Jackson owes $200 million. Turns out he doesn’t have a nose for business either.
Admit it day
*It’s December 1st. Today is the day you officially have to admit you’re not going to lose the weight you promised to lose for your New Year’s resolution.
One or the other
*Tiger Woods’ fiancé was reportedly seen sporting a huge rock on her finger; so either she is engaged to Tiger Woods, or Kobe Bryant cheated on her too.
Good advice
*Britney Spears new CD is #1 but Michael Jackson’s greatest hits debuted at # 10. Let this be a lesson, if you’re about to release a CD, kiss Madonna, not a kid.
Good luck on that
*A British study claims that exercise is as addictive as booze, drugs or tobacco. Apparently exercise triggers a high in the brain that rivals anything else. Upon hearing this, Rush Limbaugh announced he would now begin training for the Olympic Decathlon.
Now that is sick
*Dozens of passengers came down with a stomach illness during an eight-day cruise out of Florida on the Carnival Cruise Lines ship. People haven’t been getting this sick on a Cruise Ship since Kathy Lee Gifford used to sing on them.
These people were sicker to their stomachs than the Michael Jackson jury will be after hearing the evidence.
How dumb is she?
*In her new TV show, critics say Paris Hilton appears even dumber than Jessica Simpson. For those keeping score, dumber than Jessica Simpson puts Paris somewhere between dumber than Anna Nicole Smith and smarter than a carp.
Shrewd buying
*There was a riot in Florida, one woman got knocked out, when a Walmart put their DVD’s on sale for $19.95. $19.95? I’m gonna wait until they pay me to buy a DVD.
Hut, hut, hike
*In his “Sixty Minutes” interview, All Pro linebacker Lawrence Taylor admitted that, the night before the game, he used to send hookers to his opposition to gain an advantage. Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton challenged Taylor to a game of touch football.
Just got it
*I just figured out what Michael Jackson’s mug shot reminds me of: Jack Nicholson’s Joker after a year-long-fast.
posted by Alex at
12:03 PM
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