You put the lime in the cocoanut, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Repeat after me, there is no E in the Louis in Louisville
Rick Pitino’s Louisville is in the NCAA tournament. There is a lot of debate on how you correctly pronounce the capital of Kentucky. Some say, Louie-ville, others say Loo-ah-ville, a lot of natives, like me, say Loo-uh-vull, but the correct pronunciation is actually Frankfort. (Thank you Mike McIntee, author of the Wahoo Gazette)

Talk about deserving a break today
A Wisconsin man Don Gorske downed his world record 19,000th Big Mac. 19,000 Big Macs. This guy has swallowed more special sauce than Monica Lewinski.

Office Pool
I am very excited. I had Saddam calling Bush “Reckless and a criminal” in the office pool.

Def. Sec. Donald Rumsfeld announced that Saddam Hussein’s regime’s days are numbered. In a related story, I am happy to report that I drew five in our Saddam’s Numbered Days Office Pool.

How deserted is it?
Reports say that Baghdad looks like a ghost town. How deserted is it? Baghdad hasn’t been that empty since it hosted the Pauly Shore film festival.


Nice career move, Darling
The Dixie Chicks song “Travelin’ Soldier” plummeted from No. 1 on the country charts to number 3 after listeners heard their anti-Bush, antiwar remarks. On the bright side for the Dixie Chicks, their CD’s are now available in Arabic and French.


Since you asked:


Here in San Diego, we have a brand new holiday today - invented by the wonderful folks at KGB FM: Steak and Knobber day. (It doesn't need explanation, either you get it, or you don't)

And in honor of Steak and Knobber Day, and now that those heroic movie stars have bravely offered to go forward with the Oscars, I think it is time to bring up something I have thought way too much about. There should be a lifetime Academy Award for the actor who ate the coolest in a movie.

The nominees are James Caan in “The Godfather” (“The Godfather” is the all time best eating movie ) when Cann is eating Chinese food out of the carton while plotting the revenge of his Father., Not to sound all Persony, but nobody ever looked better in a wife-beater t-shirt; Robert Shaw in “The Sting” eating breakfast room service while asking Robert Redford; “Yah follah?” Paul Newman in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” in the final scene where he says; “The specialty of the house and it’s still moving” right before his plate gets shot out from under him.

But the best all time coolest eating actor has to be Sean Connery in just about every movie he has done. First of all, Connery is Scottish, so he can get away with that cool holding-the-fork-upside-down thing, plus the way he talks, he always sounds like he has a piece of steak in his mouth anyway, so when he actually does, it just somehow sounds cooler. Plus, in the Bonds movies, you know Sean is about to wash his steak down with a shaken, not stirred, Vodka martini. It’s over. In honor of Post Knobber Boxing Day, the lifetime Academy Award for the actor who ate the coolest in a movie goes to Sean Connery.