Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul, I wanna get back to your rock and roll and drift away Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

To all the Infidels I’ve loved before . . . .
Osama bin Laden’s niece, Waffa bin Laden’s wants to be a pop star. Her single is a cover of the Bon Jovi hit “Shot in the Heart.” It’s headed to number one with a bullet . . . and a bomb, and a rocket, plastic explosives, a hand grenade . . .


Osama bin Laden’s niece Waffa bin Laden is different than most aspiring recording artists. That white powder you see all over her studio? It’s not cocaine, it’s Anthrax.


It’s a sad, sad situation
*The NCAA tournament has not started, the Masters is weeks away, baseball hasn’t started. As a sports fan, I feel lonelier than Colin Powell at a UN Keg party.

Well, see, now everyone feels better
The Dixie Chicks' Natalie Maines, who told a London audience earlier this week that she was ``ashamed'' of President Bush, now said she's sorry for her comment. For his part, President Bush apologized to Maines for referring to her as the short and stocky Dixie Chick.


What’s love got to do, got to do with it?
It turns out tennis morsel Anna Kornikova was briefly married to Detroit Red Wings star Sergei Fedorov. How briefly? Anna has lasted longer in tournaments than she did in that that marriage.

Sadly, the marriage did not last and now the only love in Anna’s life is her side of the tennis score.


Pilar of Acadamie (Yes, I know it is spelled wrong . . . )
Fresno State banned their basketball team from the NCAA tournament because of academic fraud. No offense, but cheating at Fresno State is like taking steroids to win at shuffleboard.

Tres no
*Did you know that disgraced French Olympic figure skating judge Marie-Reine Le Gougne has a book out? You don’t have to buy it, you just bribe the bookstore owner.

I think the title is “I Took Bribes and Cheated, yet I still Look Down on Americans.”


Well, it's about time
Last week, the release of New York Giant Jason Sehorn was well-covered by the press. This also marks the first time that the words well-covered and Jason Sehorn have been used together in years.

Now Sehorn can concentrate and what he should have been doing all along: Covering Angie Harmon.

Sweatin’ for the laaaaaadies
Biologists at the University of Pennsylvania found male perspiration had a surprisingly beneficial effect on women's moods; it helps reduce stress, induces relaxation and can even turn them on. But that’s only when men sweat doing the chores the women nagged them to do.