Oh, it's comin' now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Hmm, I wonder why?
Robert Blake is free on bail. He wanted to celebrate, but for some reason he can’t seem to find anyone who will go out to dinner with him.
That and Robert Blake was behind bars.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said life expectancy for Americans reached an all-time high of 77.2 years in 2001. This is due to advances in medical care and nutrition plus the fact that the Texas dentist who ran over her husband, Clara Harris, is behind bars and off the road.
Show me the money
A haywire ATM machine in Fargo North Dakota spit out $285 in extra cash but three honest bank customers ignored temptation and returned the free money. Are you kidding me? In Los Angeles they would have taken the cash and then complained that it wasn’t an even $300.
But what about their much needed political statements?
In an effort to speed up the Oscars, the producers will limit acceptance speeches to 45 seconds. Last year 45 seconds was barely enough time for Halle Berry to inhale after each sob.
Since you asked:
The first time I heard Randy Newman’s “Political Science” I enjoyed a great chuckle at its obviously tongue-in-cheek irony. Now I am beginning to think it represents a lot of folk’s foreign policy beliefs, especially this one line*. You be the judge:
No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens
We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us
We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too
Boom goes London and boom Paree*
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
I am begining to believe they do all hate us anyhow. So what? Who cares? Boycott French products? Like what? Who is drinking French champagne all day besides super models, Rap artists and interior designers?
Of course the French hate us. From what I hear, they generally hate each other as well. And also, from what I hear, there are a lot of obnoxious American tourists running around Europe. If you judged all Americans by the behavior of the food service folks in New York City, you would come to the conclusion that we are a tad on the grumpy side as well.
That being said, I still love making French jokes. It is the comedy equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel. The questionable hygiene, the subject war record, the Jerry Lewis worshiping, it is all too fun. I've done a lot of jokes about the French lately, but it’s all in good fun. Besides, there is no harm done, the French get comedy about as much as the Amish get electricity.
Hmm, I wonder why?
Robert Blake is free on bail. He wanted to celebrate, but for some reason he can’t seem to find anyone who will go out to dinner with him.
That and Robert Blake was behind bars.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said life expectancy for Americans reached an all-time high of 77.2 years in 2001. This is due to advances in medical care and nutrition plus the fact that the Texas dentist who ran over her husband, Clara Harris, is behind bars and off the road.
Show me the money
A haywire ATM machine in Fargo North Dakota spit out $285 in extra cash but three honest bank customers ignored temptation and returned the free money. Are you kidding me? In Los Angeles they would have taken the cash and then complained that it wasn’t an even $300.
But what about their much needed political statements?
In an effort to speed up the Oscars, the producers will limit acceptance speeches to 45 seconds. Last year 45 seconds was barely enough time for Halle Berry to inhale after each sob.
Since you asked:
The first time I heard Randy Newman’s “Political Science” I enjoyed a great chuckle at its obviously tongue-in-cheek irony. Now I am beginning to think it represents a lot of folk’s foreign policy beliefs, especially this one line*. You be the judge:
No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens
We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us
We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too
Boom goes London and boom Paree*
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
I am begining to believe they do all hate us anyhow. So what? Who cares? Boycott French products? Like what? Who is drinking French champagne all day besides super models, Rap artists and interior designers?
Of course the French hate us. From what I hear, they generally hate each other as well. And also, from what I hear, there are a lot of obnoxious American tourists running around Europe. If you judged all Americans by the behavior of the food service folks in New York City, you would come to the conclusion that we are a tad on the grumpy side as well.
That being said, I still love making French jokes. It is the comedy equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel. The questionable hygiene, the subject war record, the Jerry Lewis worshiping, it is all too fun. I've done a lot of jokes about the French lately, but it’s all in good fun. Besides, there is no harm done, the French get comedy about as much as the Amish get electricity.
posted by Alex at
3:08 PM
<< Home