Who da man? You da man. Who da man? You da man, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
I wonder if they'll say anything about it?
‘`The View'' was nominated for Daytime Emmys. They were nominated in the category of “Best Talk Show”, “Best Talk Show Hosts”, and “Best Talk Show Hosts Who Talk The Most.” Addition, they are also nominated in the lesser known category of "Talk Show Hosts Who Never Shut the Hell Up."
Does Libya have a Club Med?
*The government of Iraq claims that 50,000 foreigners visit the country every month for vacation. Who does this? The people who waited too long to book Liberia?
We all have to do what we can
*Hollywood announced that the Oscars will go on even if we’re at war. Let’s be clear about this, this isn’t about bravery, this is about collecting that $20,000 gift bag.
Imagine how inspirational this is to those soldiers lying in the desert waiting to go to war that their brave movie stars are willing to endure designer clothes, a limo ride, champagne and a $20,000 gift bag.
Not going to hell? Priceless
The pastor of a church in Sweden has installed a credit card machine that parishioners can use to make their donation. That would be embarrassing. “I’m sorry, your prayers, as well as your credit card, have been declined.”
And, for extra realism, they really fell off a truck
*Macy’s announced this week they’re coming out with a line of "The Sopranos” clothes. They clothes are authentic; they come complete with Marinara and blood stains and they smell like the cheap perfume from the strippers at the Bada Bing.
The nice things about these clothes is that a lot of them double as tents and car covers.
Have it your way
*Texas will execute their 300th death row inmate since they reinstated the death penalty in 1982. What offends me is the McDonalds-like sign in front: “Over 300 Served.”
What was she thinking?
*The UConn Women’s basketball team’s 70 game winning streak dating back from the 2001 season came to an end last night as they lost 52-48 to Villanova. Afterwards, one of the Villanova women’s basketball players was so ecstatic, she accidentally hugged a guy.
Adios
*Mexico is still not supporting the US against Iraq. Mexico doesn’t approve of the United States going into another country. At least that’s what the few left back in Mexico who haven’t snuck into the US think.
Le Intern
*The House of Representatives has officially changed the name of their cafeteria’s French fries to freedom fries. In addition, Bill Clinton has announced he has switched from French kissing to freedom kissing.
But seriously
The Chinese government has ordered the Rolling Stones to ax four of their hits because of sexual references. In addition, they want the Stones to change the line in “Sympathy for the Devil” from “I rode a tank in the general’s rank” to “I rode a tank over a student’s crank.”
(Or, if you prefer “I rode a tank over a student’s flank)
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you
*The Beastie boys have announced on their Website they are against the possible war against Iraq. I am shocked. Can you believe that? I had no idea the Beastie boys were still around.
I think that’s what they call in military circles: The final green light.
I wonder if they'll say anything about it?
‘`The View'' was nominated for Daytime Emmys. They were nominated in the category of “Best Talk Show”, “Best Talk Show Hosts”, and “Best Talk Show Hosts Who Talk The Most.” Addition, they are also nominated in the lesser known category of "Talk Show Hosts Who Never Shut the Hell Up."
Does Libya have a Club Med?
*The government of Iraq claims that 50,000 foreigners visit the country every month for vacation. Who does this? The people who waited too long to book Liberia?
We all have to do what we can
*Hollywood announced that the Oscars will go on even if we’re at war. Let’s be clear about this, this isn’t about bravery, this is about collecting that $20,000 gift bag.
Imagine how inspirational this is to those soldiers lying in the desert waiting to go to war that their brave movie stars are willing to endure designer clothes, a limo ride, champagne and a $20,000 gift bag.
Not going to hell? Priceless
The pastor of a church in Sweden has installed a credit card machine that parishioners can use to make their donation. That would be embarrassing. “I’m sorry, your prayers, as well as your credit card, have been declined.”
And, for extra realism, they really fell off a truck
*Macy’s announced this week they’re coming out with a line of "The Sopranos” clothes. They clothes are authentic; they come complete with Marinara and blood stains and they smell like the cheap perfume from the strippers at the Bada Bing.
The nice things about these clothes is that a lot of them double as tents and car covers.
Have it your way
*Texas will execute their 300th death row inmate since they reinstated the death penalty in 1982. What offends me is the McDonalds-like sign in front: “Over 300 Served.”
What was she thinking?
*The UConn Women’s basketball team’s 70 game winning streak dating back from the 2001 season came to an end last night as they lost 52-48 to Villanova. Afterwards, one of the Villanova women’s basketball players was so ecstatic, she accidentally hugged a guy.
Adios
*Mexico is still not supporting the US against Iraq. Mexico doesn’t approve of the United States going into another country. At least that’s what the few left back in Mexico who haven’t snuck into the US think.
Le Intern
*The House of Representatives has officially changed the name of their cafeteria’s French fries to freedom fries. In addition, Bill Clinton has announced he has switched from French kissing to freedom kissing.
But seriously
The Chinese government has ordered the Rolling Stones to ax four of their hits because of sexual references. In addition, they want the Stones to change the line in “Sympathy for the Devil” from “I rode a tank in the general’s rank” to “I rode a tank over a student’s crank.”
(Or, if you prefer “I rode a tank over a student’s flank)
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you
*The Beastie boys have announced on their Website they are against the possible war against Iraq. I am shocked. Can you believe that? I had no idea the Beastie boys were still around.
I think that’s what they call in military circles: The final green light.
posted by Alex at
12:46 PM
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