That’s how we roll, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Oh yeah, and that other thing
Can you believe what is happening in the news? It is hard to think about anything else, but we have to get on with our lives. But enough about Angelina Jolie’s Oscar dress being stolen . . .
Tres chic? Non.
How unpopular is France right now? To give you an idea, even Frasier and Niles Crane stopped sprinkling their conversations with French expressions.
And the loser is . . .
Did you hear how best documentary Oscar recipient Michael Moore got boo’d during his speech? I’m not positive, but I think I heard him say at the end: “You hate me, you really, really hate me.”
It’s taken 19 long years, but, thanks to Michael Moore, Sally Field is finally off the hook for the worst Oscar speech with her “you really, really like me” in 1984
Nicole Kidman donned a prosthetic nose and won the Oscar for best actress for “The Hours.” In a related story, for her next movie, Madonna asked to borrow Michael Jackson’s nose.
In a surprise move, Adrien Brody won best actor for “Pianist.” In addition, Brody also won the kd Lang look-alike contest.
What did they call it?
The Army's 3rd Infantry Division dashed north toward the Shiite holy city of Karbala, only 50 miles south of Baghdad. That’s weird. My first apartment was also a Shiite holy.
Come on, Karbala may not be Monte Carlo, but I don’t think it’s fair to call it a Shiite Holy.
When asked to comment about Karbala, President Bush said; "I don't know about Karbala, but Brownesville Texas, now there is one Shiite Holy."
Hold it Tiger, hold it Tiger
Tiger Woods, sick from bad pasta prepared by his Swedish bikini model girlfriend, Elin Nordegren, Woods won the Bay Hill Invitational for the fourth time by 11 strokes. Hey Tiger, you just won almost a million dollars, don’t be afraid to go out to dinner.
In a related poll, 96% of all guys would still eat Elin Nordegren’s pasta even if they knew it had food poisoning.
In another related story, Tiger just picked up another sponsor: Chef Boyardee.
That’s how attractive Tiger’s bikini model girlfriend is, Tiger even braved eating plate of her Penne and Lute fish.
Since you asked:
Our two yellow Labradors – Kasey is the slightly sharper one who looks like a honey bear and Wrigley is the sweeter one who could use a bit more more sense and looks like a smaller white hound dog – launched an all out assault on our neighborhood rabbit yesterday morning. (Obviously inspired by Operation Shock and Awe, they have dubbed it Operation Shake and Paw)
The first phase was marked by furious back and forth running from the East and West sides of our lawn where the rabbit enters and exits. Once they determined the rabbit was no longer on the premises, they decided to begin excavation past the bushes under the East fence in order to pursue. Wrigley dug while Kasey observed.
Soon Wrigley was about halfway out when I decided operation Shake and Paw needed to be diverted, so I filled up the hole with a shovel thus marking my only attempt at lawn work this year. And, as I have read you are to do to dissuade doggy digging, I liberally sprinkled the area with Chili pepper flakes. Kasey took one whiff and wisely avoided the area, Wrigley, however, sneezed all morning long.
Speaking of Labradors, I hope I have done a service just in time. My cousin Jack - a great and cool guy, by the way - just got, like all right thinking pet owners, a yellow lab puppy. But they were about to name the poor dog Scooter - people, never, ever let the kids name the dog - when I intervened. The man is a diehard Redskins fan so I suggested Riggins, after the Hall of Fame running back John Riggins. I did good, huh?
Oh yeah, and that other thing
Can you believe what is happening in the news? It is hard to think about anything else, but we have to get on with our lives. But enough about Angelina Jolie’s Oscar dress being stolen . . .
Tres chic? Non.
How unpopular is France right now? To give you an idea, even Frasier and Niles Crane stopped sprinkling their conversations with French expressions.
And the loser is . . .
Did you hear how best documentary Oscar recipient Michael Moore got boo’d during his speech? I’m not positive, but I think I heard him say at the end: “You hate me, you really, really hate me.”
It’s taken 19 long years, but, thanks to Michael Moore, Sally Field is finally off the hook for the worst Oscar speech with her “you really, really like me” in 1984
Nicole Kidman donned a prosthetic nose and won the Oscar for best actress for “The Hours.” In a related story, for her next movie, Madonna asked to borrow Michael Jackson’s nose.
In a surprise move, Adrien Brody won best actor for “Pianist.” In addition, Brody also won the kd Lang look-alike contest.
What did they call it?
The Army's 3rd Infantry Division dashed north toward the Shiite holy city of Karbala, only 50 miles south of Baghdad. That’s weird. My first apartment was also a Shiite holy.
Come on, Karbala may not be Monte Carlo, but I don’t think it’s fair to call it a Shiite Holy.
When asked to comment about Karbala, President Bush said; "I don't know about Karbala, but Brownesville Texas, now there is one Shiite Holy."
Hold it Tiger, hold it Tiger
Tiger Woods, sick from bad pasta prepared by his Swedish bikini model girlfriend, Elin Nordegren, Woods won the Bay Hill Invitational for the fourth time by 11 strokes. Hey Tiger, you just won almost a million dollars, don’t be afraid to go out to dinner.
In a related poll, 96% of all guys would still eat Elin Nordegren’s pasta even if they knew it had food poisoning.
In another related story, Tiger just picked up another sponsor: Chef Boyardee.
That’s how attractive Tiger’s bikini model girlfriend is, Tiger even braved eating plate of her Penne and Lute fish.
Since you asked:
Our two yellow Labradors – Kasey is the slightly sharper one who looks like a honey bear and Wrigley is the sweeter one who could use a bit more more sense and looks like a smaller white hound dog – launched an all out assault on our neighborhood rabbit yesterday morning. (Obviously inspired by Operation Shock and Awe, they have dubbed it Operation Shake and Paw)
The first phase was marked by furious back and forth running from the East and West sides of our lawn where the rabbit enters and exits. Once they determined the rabbit was no longer on the premises, they decided to begin excavation past the bushes under the East fence in order to pursue. Wrigley dug while Kasey observed.
Soon Wrigley was about halfway out when I decided operation Shake and Paw needed to be diverted, so I filled up the hole with a shovel thus marking my only attempt at lawn work this year. And, as I have read you are to do to dissuade doggy digging, I liberally sprinkled the area with Chili pepper flakes. Kasey took one whiff and wisely avoided the area, Wrigley, however, sneezed all morning long.
Speaking of Labradors, I hope I have done a service just in time. My cousin Jack - a great and cool guy, by the way - just got, like all right thinking pet owners, a yellow lab puppy. But they were about to name the poor dog Scooter - people, never, ever let the kids name the dog - when I intervened. The man is a diehard Redskins fan so I suggested Riggins, after the Hall of Fame running back John Riggins. I did good, huh?
posted by Alex at
3:20 PM
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