Look out, everybody, it's a stand up paddle board surfin' daaawwwwwg

We do the do to the two, doobie, doobie do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



A US drone missile killed five suspected terrorists who were German nationals. Two of the men were Asadullah M. and Shahab Dashti. As German names go, not exactly Hansel and Gretel.


Philadelphia Eagles QB, Michael Vick, may be out with a rib injury. “Gosh, I hope Michael Vick is OK.” Said a really sarcastic talking yellow Labrador named Ernie.


There will be two Justin Bieber dolls available this Christmas; but it turns out one of them is just an old, leftover Moe from the Three Stooges doll.

I saw a commercial and thought, wow, Sarah Jessica Parker is in another big movie. Then I realized, oops, no, it’s an ad for “Secretariat” Sorry, my bad.

There’s a movie coming out, “The Social Network” about the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, and the computer experts who helped him. It has intrigue, drama, betrayal and lots and lots of guys not getting laid.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are not getting a divorce after all. Good news because if two phony people from a fake reality show’s sham marriage can’t work, what chance do we have?

The State department has issued a terror alert for Europe pleading for travelers to be vigilant. I think I speak for most when I say if I was any more vigilant I’d be a certified paranoid schizophrenic.

In Britain, a man found a dead mouse baked into a loaf of bread. You got to give the bakery credit for trying, they pointed out the mouse was gluten-free.

The New York Jets Braylon Edwards scored a touchdown against the Buffalo Bills on a nice drive. And here’s the good part, Edwards didn’t get a DUI during that drive.


Since you asked:
I’m starting to suspect all of my friend’s college age kids are all the same people based on their Facebook pictures. They all purse their lips gangsta-style and give faux-gang finger symbols like the devil rock sign (thumb, first and pinkie fingers extended)

They seem to always drink heavily, usually out of red plastic cups and they all have token girlfriends who look like broke-ass versions of Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton and boyfriends who look like broke-ass Eminems. And they grind each other. A lot. Think "Jersey Shore" but with a triple digit I.Q.

My UCSB college party pictures make us look like “The Great Gatsby” by comparison.