Don’t feel bad, Pluto, we’re not planets either, right, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


Lindsay Lohan failed her drug test which is too bad, she put so much research into it.


Did you know there was a tornado in New York? It was awful, a house landed on and killed that thing on Donald Trump’s head.


New York Yankee, Derek Jeter, grimaced and grabbed his arm apparently hit by a pitch, was awarded first base and eventually scored. The replay showed the ball hit his bat. It was the greatest acting job in sports since the New York Jets volunteered for a sensitivity training class.


The winner of the Delaware Republican Senate Primary, Christine O’Donnell, is an outspoken opponent of masturbation. Hey, look, lady, we don’t tell you politicians how to lie cheat and steal, so stay the hell out of our hobbies.


An outspoken critic of masturbation, Christine O’Donnell, won the Delaware Senate primary, singer George Michael has to go to jail for drugged-driving and Pee Wee Herman’s Paul Ruebens’s TV career is floundering, all-in-all not a good week for chicken-chokers.


An outspoken critic of masturbation, Christine O’Donnell, won the Delaware Senate primary and if she wins in November, they are going to change the Delaware state motto from “Liberty and Independence” to “What the hell are you doing in the bathroom for so long?”


In Brooklyn, a tornado knocked a church spire onto a car. Somewhere Spencer Pratt has an evil smile while a choir chants Latin in high volume.

Since you asked:

Sunday we did what I like to call: filmed an SUV ad.

Got up early, loaded the car with beach gear and my board and paddle, and headed to A.C.’s soccer game. OK game, but they lost to their rival team the Surf. Then off to La Jolla shores for a paddle brunch. Friends paddled kayaks while I surfed and paddled my stand up board then we had great coffee, fresh OJ and French toast on the beach while my iPod speaker played beach tunes.

Then in a real SUV commercial moment I got to drive my four-wheel-drive SUV on the beach to load up my board.

Then it was home for lots of football - how ‘bout those Bears? - and a barbecue. Grilled carne asada for soft tacos.