Happy 17th anniversary to Lex and Virg, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Larry King said he wants to host “Saturday Night Live” Legally that’s a problem, the NBC attorneys aren’t sure if Larry King satisfies the live qualification of “Saturday Night Live.”
Lindsay Lohan has checked into another rehab facility. At some point don’t we stop calling it a rehab facility? Isn’t it in Lindsay’s case just an enabling outlet?
The first thing she asked when she checked in was: “What time is happy hour?”
It is still hot, I’m sweating like anti-masturbation candidate, Christine O’Donnell, being confronted with adult movie charges on her hotel bill.
President Jimmy Carter had to be hospitalized with stomach pains. But doctors say Carter is going to be up and insulting our other presidents in no time.
Twitter went down today. It was so bad Ashton Kucher had to actually talk to his wife, Demi Moore.
Millions of people were forced to pay attention to their work and their driving.
The San Diego Padres had a 6 1/2 lead on August 25th, but after a ten game losing streak and two home loses to the Chicago Cubs, the Padres are now two games behind the San Francisco Giants. This is the worst losing streak in California that doesn’t involve a Wayans brother.
They announced the wrong winner of “Australia’s Top Model” And they didn’t handle it well, they said; “Sorry, it was supposed to go to the girl who is way hotter than you are.”
Since you asked:
Now, I don’t want you folks to think I am crabby, it is just I like to use this blog to vent. And today I want to vent about things that are legal that should not be legal.
This comes from the fact that Congress finally got as annoyed as everyone else about how menacingly cranked up commercials are compared to the regular programming. They are going to make it illegal, but any right thinking person knew it should have been illegal years ago.
Smoking. This is a no-brainer, it kills people and costs the rest of us billions and billions. Screw the smoking industry, if they are in that business they deserve to be unemployed.
Ice Cream trucks. What was once a pleasant childhood memory is now a huge annoyance. There are way too many of them and they blast their music and hang out in playground parking lots. A drug dealer/ child molester could not invent a better job for their needs. With rampant childhood obesity, this is an easy step to cut out.
Talking on a cell phone in front of a captive audience. Go somewhere else, you’re not that important.
Loose subscription cards in magazines.
Any and all door-to-door solicitations besides one exception: Girl Scouts.
Any and all telemarketing calls and this includes charities.
Pop up ads on websites. Especially the ones that take you away from the website you want.
Business owners appearing in their own commercial. From Tom Carvel’s Cookie Puss down to that a-hole local bail bondsman, these are a national embarrassment. If you could act, sing or be funny, you wouldn’t be doing what you’re doing.
Advertising a business on twitter or facebook.
Notifying people about the games on facebook. Nobody cares about your stupid imaginary farm.
Telling people about your kid’s games in detail. (Yes, I am a huge hypocrite about this, but I will stop if others will. Unless it is a brief; “He hit a game winning grand slam” or “She shot the winning goal with one minute left”, if my kid isn’t on your team, I really don’t care)
Athletes thanking Jesus or God. Surely this has to be a violation of separation of church and state.
Waving at a TV camera while on a cell phone. Don’t you know what a douche-bag you look like? We sure do.
Wearing the jersey of a player who is younger than you are.
Loudly celebrating a score if you are a visiting fan. You can wear the gear, even clap and cheer when they score, just shut up and be polite. (A San Francisco Giant fan was obnoxiously standing up and waving his hat like he was trying to catch something in it when the Giants scored. Fed up, I finally yelled out:
“You had less to do with that run than that god-awful hat.”
The crowd cracked up and he stopped doing it for some reason
Good night for our 17th. Out to dinner at always cool and hip Pacific Coast Grill. Great steak. Then we had a drink at The Grand. Oh my word, not even two miles from my house and it is Hotel California meets Hearst Castle meets the Great Gatsby meets “The Shining.” It was “The Shining” because of how it looked, but also because it was almost abandoned. More people working there than staying there. And I had a wildly watered-down drink for $17.
Larry King said he wants to host “Saturday Night Live” Legally that’s a problem, the NBC attorneys aren’t sure if Larry King satisfies the live qualification of “Saturday Night Live.”
Lindsay Lohan has checked into another rehab facility. At some point don’t we stop calling it a rehab facility? Isn’t it in Lindsay’s case just an enabling outlet?
The first thing she asked when she checked in was: “What time is happy hour?”
It is still hot, I’m sweating like anti-masturbation candidate, Christine O’Donnell, being confronted with adult movie charges on her hotel bill.
President Jimmy Carter had to be hospitalized with stomach pains. But doctors say Carter is going to be up and insulting our other presidents in no time.
Twitter went down today. It was so bad Ashton Kucher had to actually talk to his wife, Demi Moore.
Millions of people were forced to pay attention to their work and their driving.
The San Diego Padres had a 6 1/2 lead on August 25th, but after a ten game losing streak and two home loses to the Chicago Cubs, the Padres are now two games behind the San Francisco Giants. This is the worst losing streak in California that doesn’t involve a Wayans brother.
They announced the wrong winner of “Australia’s Top Model” And they didn’t handle it well, they said; “Sorry, it was supposed to go to the girl who is way hotter than you are.”
Since you asked:
Now, I don’t want you folks to think I am crabby, it is just I like to use this blog to vent. And today I want to vent about things that are legal that should not be legal.
This comes from the fact that Congress finally got as annoyed as everyone else about how menacingly cranked up commercials are compared to the regular programming. They are going to make it illegal, but any right thinking person knew it should have been illegal years ago.
Smoking. This is a no-brainer, it kills people and costs the rest of us billions and billions. Screw the smoking industry, if they are in that business they deserve to be unemployed.
Ice Cream trucks. What was once a pleasant childhood memory is now a huge annoyance. There are way too many of them and they blast their music and hang out in playground parking lots. A drug dealer/ child molester could not invent a better job for their needs. With rampant childhood obesity, this is an easy step to cut out.
Talking on a cell phone in front of a captive audience. Go somewhere else, you’re not that important.
Loose subscription cards in magazines.
Any and all door-to-door solicitations besides one exception: Girl Scouts.
Any and all telemarketing calls and this includes charities.
Pop up ads on websites. Especially the ones that take you away from the website you want.
Business owners appearing in their own commercial. From Tom Carvel’s Cookie Puss down to that a-hole local bail bondsman, these are a national embarrassment. If you could act, sing or be funny, you wouldn’t be doing what you’re doing.
Advertising a business on twitter or facebook.
Notifying people about the games on facebook. Nobody cares about your stupid imaginary farm.
Telling people about your kid’s games in detail. (Yes, I am a huge hypocrite about this, but I will stop if others will. Unless it is a brief; “He hit a game winning grand slam” or “She shot the winning goal with one minute left”, if my kid isn’t on your team, I really don’t care)
Athletes thanking Jesus or God. Surely this has to be a violation of separation of church and state.
Waving at a TV camera while on a cell phone. Don’t you know what a douche-bag you look like? We sure do.
Wearing the jersey of a player who is younger than you are.
Loudly celebrating a score if you are a visiting fan. You can wear the gear, even clap and cheer when they score, just shut up and be polite. (A San Francisco Giant fan was obnoxiously standing up and waving his hat like he was trying to catch something in it when the Giants scored. Fed up, I finally yelled out:
“You had less to do with that run than that god-awful hat.”
The crowd cracked up and he stopped doing it for some reason
Good night for our 17th. Out to dinner at always cool and hip Pacific Coast Grill. Great steak. Then we had a drink at The Grand. Oh my word, not even two miles from my house and it is Hotel California meets Hearst Castle meets the Great Gatsby meets “The Shining.” It was “The Shining” because of how it looked, but also because it was almost abandoned. More people working there than staying there. And I had a wildly watered-down drink for $17.
posted by Alex at
2:08 PM
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