Monday, September 27, 2010

This right here the scene of the crime, La Jolla Shores/Scripps Pier, on Sunday*

We gonna slow the roll down here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A Montana man celebrated his 114th birthday Tuesday. If you want to get him a gift he’s registered at Bed, Bath and Not Beyond Next Week.

Facebook went down today. Tens of millions of people on Farmville had to actually get and manage a real life.

More bad news for Lindsay Lohan. They frisked her before her court appearance and they found some of Paris Hilton’s gum.

“Sesame Street” cut a segment with Elmo and Katy Perry because Katy flashed too much cleavage. Now if kids want to watch a big boob on TV they’ll have to tune in to “Dr. Phil.”

Blockbuster Video has filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Apparently you can’t charge a rewinding fee for a DVD.

What do they expect from a company whose mission statement was: “I don’t know if we have that movie, go look for it yourself.”

“Sesame Street” cut a segment with Elmo and Katy Perry because Katy flashed too much cleavage. And yet they have no problem flaunting Bert and Ernie’s openly gay relationship.

Blockbuster Video filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. What a shock, and Acme Pagers, Sal’s Black and White TV’s and Gus’s CB Radios aren’t doing so hot either.

What a week. Paris Hilton kicked out of Japan, Lindsay Lohan in court for sentencing, Blockbuster Video declares bankruptcy. Atheists all over are re-thinking their disbelief in god.

Sadly, “Jerry Maguire” director Cameron Crowe and his wife, Nancy Wilson, are getting divorced. Apparently he had her at prenuptial agreement.

Delaware Senate candidate, Christine O’Donnell, is a witch opposed to masturbation. Here’s the best part, fellas: she’s single.

The San Diego Padres who had a 6 1/2 game lead in the N.L. West on Aug. 25th are now half-a-game behind the San Francisco Giants. But don’t worry, Padres fans, the Padres still have a secret weapon: a four game series against the Chicago Cubs at home. That’ll cure ‘em.

A Montana man celebrated his 114th birthday Tuesday. He looks good for his age, somewhere between Brett Favre and Keith Richards.

Delaware Senate candidate, Christine O’Donnell, is against masturbation. So what, exactly, does she have against my freshman year in high school?

Barack Obama’s top economic advisor, Larry Summers, announces his resignation and immediately the stock market shot up. That’s like announcing you’re quitting the band and their upcoming tour suddenly sells out.

Since you asked:

*And it almost was a crime it was so awesome. Great day, fun waves, must of rode twenty waves. Came back, fired up the grill and saute'd onions on the outside burner and guess what? Food tastes better when it is cooked outside. Too hot to cook in the kitchen.

But then the night cooled off, I had myself some San Diego Sunsets (Mount Gay Rum on the rocks, splash of coconut water and a squeeze of lime) and watched football in beautiful Hi Def. It did not suck in the least bit.

I shall tell you thisn' right here, stand up paddle board surfing on a hot day do make one amass a powerful thirst. Between the sweating, working hard and the salt water of the ocean, I amassed a thirst so huge it had to be slaked with Squirt, coconut water and lemonade. Plus I love to say the word slaked. Slake, slake, slake. Jump in the lake to slake. Boom, boom.